After Work by Jenee Darden
It’s Monday, the least
favorite day of the week. Work has been stressful. You’re worrying about that
project you hope leads to a promotion. Your shoulders and back ache. You’re tired
of the tough job scene. The commute home in the rain doesn't ease you. You arrive home and leave the umbrella on the porch to dry, You unlock the door to your home. You’re
greeted by your honey, Bae, your boo, your lover—whatever you call them.
They’re standing in their underwear with a potholder and a big sly smile. What is Bae up to? Then the aroma makes it’s
way to your damp nose—smothered pork chops, rice, fresh green
beans and corn bread. Bae embraces and holds you. The feel of their heartbeat against your
chest and the warmth of their arms was just what you needed. “Take off your
clothes, slip into something more chill.” You go to the bedroom, put on your favorite silky nightgown. Dinner is served with a chilled bottle of Stella Rosa.
The food, the company, the
laughs with your lover are making you forget about your crazy day. Then the
wine gets into your system. You’re feeling good, like hella good. Bae dims the
lights, gets the candles and puts on Maxwell. Your lover notices your shoulders
have been tight so they start massaging them. Your brown skin melts into their
magical palms. Bae’s hands put a spell on your shoulders, then your arms, then
your back. “Ooooooh, don’t stop," you mumble. Bae’s hands caress your back,
your breasts, your stomach. You giggle a little because you’re ticklish there.
Then your honey looks at you and lays you on your bag and inches your gown above
your knees. Your lover slides down to the floor between your legs and asks,
“Baby, you mind if I lick the stress away?”
I hope you liked my story.
Life
is not easy and sometime you need to relieve stress. Some of us get cranky when
it’s been a while since we let our hair down/ are Afros out and indulged in
physical pleasure. Sure thing like exercise, talking to your girlfriend or watching
your favorite movie can help. But oh, what an OOOOOOOOO can do. Sex plays a role in
mental wellness. I write about mental
health on this blog and have talked about living and managing my own
depression. A low libido for me is one sign that I may be getting the blues.
Whether you’re stressed, depressed or anxious--a little bump and grind boosts
the mood. In the must-read Men’s Health article, “Understand What Sex Does toYour Brain,” neuroscientist Dr. Daniel Amen wrote that orgasms are like
antidepressants.
"Orgasms cause intense activity in the deep emotional parts of the
brain, which then settle down when the sex is over. Antidepressants calm the
same part of the brain. This calming effect may be why people who regularly
have sex experience less depression."
Sex releases those feel-good brain hormones like oxytocin and
endorphins. I read in another article that even small intimate actions like
holding a lover's hand or hugging your partner can improve your mood.
Foot massages are good too. Rubbing the right spot, can hit just that
right spot in the brain.
According
to Dr. Amen of Men's Health, "The foot-sensation area of the brain is next
door to the clitoral (and penile) region, which may be a big reason that women
are so focused on shoes—yours and hers.
Sex
is always better when you feel good about yourself. If you're depressed
and not feeling sexy, you won't be in the mood to do it. Or you won't enjoy it.
So it's important to be in good mental shape for pleasure. Remember, the
largest sex organ in your body is the brain.
I’m
not arguing that sex is the solution to your problems. Sex you can be a tool in
your life to help with your emotional and mental wellness. If you’re single,
you can get the same results with a 1-woman show. Self-pleasuring is a stress
reliever too. The clitoris has about 8,000 nerves. Isn’t that amazing?! The
penis has roughly half the number of nerves.
What a wonderful thing the Creator gave to women. Sista, enjoy ALL of
those good feelings from that small, special place.
Nightline aired this amazing story about
women and orgasms. There are 80 regions of the brain. When a woman has an orgasm, all 80 regions of the brain all hit their
maximum activity.
"Orgasm is one of the most all-encompassing phenomena
in the brain. The only other thing that is known to produce such widespread
[brain] activity is epilepsy," said sex scientist Barry Komisaruk.
All the more reason to work on releasing that oxytocin.
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