Cheers! My Birthday Celebration with the Napa Valley Wine Country Tours

After losing my grandmother a few weeks before my birthday, I really needed to celebrate life. I know she would want me to do that. This year, I decided to ring in a new year of life in wine country. My soror traveled up from So Cal to visit. This would be her first time in Napa. I didn’t want to drive so instead, we bought bus tickets for the Napa Valley Wine Country Tours.

Let me tell you something, going on this bus tour was one of the BEST decisions I made. The Napa Valley Wine Country Tours bus isn’t just any bus. It’s a limo bus that looks like a VIP club lounge on wheels. We paid $119 for an 8-hour trip, visit to 4 wineries in Sonoma and Napa counties, continental breakfast and lunch. It was worth every penny. The tastings aren't covered in the bus fare, but they ran about $10-$25. Wineries won't charge you for tastings if you buy a bottle. I recommend this for tourists and any Bay Area locals who have folks visiting from out of town and want a short excursion to Nap…

I'm In! 30 Days of Black Women and Sexual Empowerment for NaBloPoMo

Feeling fly in my witch hat.
Am I a good witch or a bad witch? If you're
good to me, I'm good to you.
Photo by Jenee Darden
So here's my story. I'm passionate about black female sexuality. It's not necessary the act of sex (although I'm passionate about pleasure), but the politics, culture and expressions of black female sexuality. Since 2000, when I first started reading black erotic literature, I have been researching and observing how black women define their sexuality outside of racist and sexist definitions imposed upon us. I did my undergraduate and graduate theses on this issue as it relates to black erotic literature. Check it out here.

Why am I so fascinated with this topic? Well, I'm a black woman and I get frustrated with the way mainstream media misrepresents us. If we're not hypersexualized from the time we're babies (Billboard was wrong for that tweet about North West), then we're perceived as undesirable. And while black female sexuality has a dark history, dating back to the sexual abuse and exploitation during slavery, we still have much to celebrate. Just as we are diverse in skin shades of black and brown, the spectrum of black female sexual expression is wide.

I'm honoring this beautiful spectrum through Cocoa Fly's Black Women and Sexual Empowerment Series. Each day for the month of November, I'm featuring a black woman for her sexual expression. Some women you've heard of. Some you haven't heard of but should know. Some women you love. Some women you can't stand. Depending on the what's going on in the world and my mood, I may blog about an issue related to black female sexuality. Expect a multimedia blend of videos, podcasts and writings. This is all part of NaBloPoMo, or National Blog Posting Month for BlogHer.

My dream is to write a book about black erotic literature, but I have to build my following. As I work on making that dream a reality, PLEASE follow me. I'm on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. All are @cocoafly. The hashtag is #BlackWomenSexuality. And PLEASE share my posts.

Oh, if you're wondering what's up with the hat, I was a witch for Halloween. The lipstick color Saffron from Iman Cosmetics brought out the meow in me. People say women use Halloween as an excuse to dress sexy. I don't think every costume needs to be sexualized (Sexy carrot--for real?). However, if a woman wants to wear a sexy costume that's her business. And if she chooses to wear a less revealing costume, that's her business. I chose sexy for Halloween. I chose a t-shirt and leggings to type this post.

I look forward to you joining me in this 30-day celebration of black female sexuality. It's going to be fun!


  1. Sounds like a fantastic series! I'll make sure to keep up with your posts. I'm doing NaBloPoMo also!

    1. Thank you! Please leave a link to your website so we can follow you as well.

  2. This is a great time to celebrate women of colour. Well, any time is a great time! But with the holidays in full swing, it's nice to know that everyday can be a holiday for us, as well.

    1. There's so much violence and abuse going on because of racism and sexism. I just wanted to create a space to celebrate us. Thanks for following and I'm glad you see this series as a holiday. :) Please spread the word.


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