Starting Your Dreams Later In Life and Embracing the Detour

Jenee Darden speaking at Creative Mornings I know it's been a while since I've posted anything but that's because of my job. I'm working as a reporter covering Oakland and I host an arts segment on the radio where I get to interview amazing artists from around the Bay Area. Plus I'm publicizing my book  and building my speaking career!  You know what's funny? I thought this would all happen by the time I was 27-30.  Nope. That wasn't God's plan for me. I'm finally beginning to do the things I've wanted to do and I'm almost 40 years old. Some people reading this who are 40 will say 40 is still young. But some younger people reading may think 40 is nearly ancient. But I'm writing this post for those who like me, thought their career and personal dreams would come true much early in life. I'm here to tell you not to give up.  You know, death inspires life. A number of my relatives and friends have passed away, ranging in

I'm In! 30 Days of Black Women and Sexual Empowerment for NaBloPoMo

Feeling fly in my witch hat.
Am I a good witch or a bad witch? If you're
good to me, I'm good to you.
Photo by Jenee Darden
So here's my story. I'm passionate about black female sexuality. It's not necessary the act of sex (although I'm passionate about pleasure), but the politics, culture and expressions of black female sexuality. Since 2000, when I first started reading black erotic literature, I have been researching and observing how black women define their sexuality outside of racist and sexist definitions imposed upon us. I did my undergraduate and graduate theses on this issue as it relates to black erotic literature. Check it out here.

Why am I so fascinated with this topic? Well, I'm a black woman and I get frustrated with the way mainstream media misrepresents us. If we're not hypersexualized from the time we're babies (Billboard was wrong for that tweet about North West), then we're perceived as undesirable. And while black female sexuality has a dark history, dating back to the sexual abuse and exploitation during slavery, we still have much to celebrate. Just as we are diverse in skin shades of black and brown, the spectrum of black female sexual expression is wide.

I'm honoring this beautiful spectrum through Cocoa Fly's Black Women and Sexual Empowerment Series. Each day for the month of November, I'm featuring a black woman for her sexual expression. Some women you've heard of. Some you haven't heard of but should know. Some women you love. Some women you can't stand. Depending on the what's going on in the world and my mood, I may blog about an issue related to black female sexuality. Expect a multimedia blend of videos, podcasts and writings. This is all part of NaBloPoMo, or National Blog Posting Month for BlogHer.

My dream is to write a book about black erotic literature, but I have to build my following. As I work on making that dream a reality, PLEASE follow me. I'm on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. All are @cocoafly. The hashtag is #BlackWomenSexuality. And PLEASE share my posts.

Oh, if you're wondering what's up with the hat, I was a witch for Halloween. The lipstick color Saffron from Iman Cosmetics brought out the meow in me. People say women use Halloween as an excuse to dress sexy. I don't think every costume needs to be sexualized (Sexy carrot--for real?). However, if a woman wants to wear a sexy costume that's her business. And if she chooses to wear a less revealing costume, that's her business. I chose sexy for Halloween. I chose a t-shirt and leggings to type this post.

I look forward to you joining me in this 30-day celebration of black female sexuality. It's going to be fun!


  1. Sounds like a fantastic series! I'll make sure to keep up with your posts. I'm doing NaBloPoMo also!

    1. Thank you! Please leave a link to your website so we can follow you as well.

  2. This is a great time to celebrate women of colour. Well, any time is a great time! But with the holidays in full swing, it's nice to know that everyday can be a holiday for us, as well.

    1. There's so much violence and abuse going on because of racism and sexism. I just wanted to create a space to celebrate us. Thanks for following and I'm glad you see this series as a holiday. :) Please spread the word.


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