Starting Your Dreams Later In Life and Embracing the Detour

Jenee Darden speaking at Creative Mornings I know it's been a while since I've posted anything but that's because of my job. I'm working as a reporter covering Oakland and I host an arts segment on the radio where I get to interview amazing artists from around the Bay Area. Plus I'm publicizing my book  and building my speaking career!  You know what's funny? I thought this would all happen by the time I was 27-30.  Nope. That wasn't God's plan for me. I'm finally beginning to do the things I've wanted to do and I'm almost 40 years old. Some people reading this who are 40 will say 40 is still young. But some younger people reading may think 40 is nearly ancient. But I'm writing this post for those who like me, thought their career and personal dreams would come true much early in life. I'm here to tell you not to give up.  You know, death inspires life. A number of my relatives and friends have passed away, ranging in

Catch My NPR Story About
An Interracial Dating Seminar for Black Women


Finally, my story on black women and interracial dating for NPR's "All Things Considered" is done! It aired Tuesday. You can listen to the story below. I've wanted to do a story on this for a while now. The piece is about an interracial dating seminar for black women called "The Black Girls Guide to Interracial Dating." Fleace Weaver created the seminar. She's founder and CEO of BlackWeekly.com and BlackGirlTravel.com.

With just a week of advertisement more than 120 women attended the event in Culver City, CA. I was impressed with the high turnout but at the same time not surprised. When I told my soror whom I'll call Professor C about the number of people that showed up she laughed slightly and said, "Girl, a lot of sistas are lonely." This story is like a sign of the times. With Weaver's seminar and blogs like Black Female Interracial Marriage or Date a White Guy, it seems like many sistas are tired of singlehood and want to venture out. Since more black men and women are "down with the swirl," could this time be a major turning point in the African-American community? Will there be less racial loyalty to the black race if more black women and men are dating outside of the box? What kind of impact will this have on black female and black male relations in the future? These are just questions I'm throwing out.



Back to the seminar, it was very interesting. I held my tongue a few times because I had on my journalism hat. Observe and record mode for me only. Some of the attendees date interracially and came to check out the seminar for fun. Others have never dated outside of their race and curiosity brought them to the event. One woman I spoke with was a bit uncomfortable. Of course, she wouldn't let me record her. She's single and feels like dating an non-black man was like selling out. One woman told me she didn't identify with the black women on the panel and wasn't convinced to date interracially. Other women I spoke with enjoyed the program, wanted to mingle with the male panelists (white, Latino, Asian) and give interracial dating a try.

One of the questions that continued to come up was "How do I know if a non-black man likes me?" The men told them if he gives you eye contact, smile, says hi, etc. he's digging you. They wanted to know if non-black men have the same swagger some brothas do when approaching a woman. The panelists again said smiling, eye contact, saying hi--all good signs. I think we may have been stuck on this question, because some women in the audience couldn't make the connection that non-black men are attracted to black women. And some women weren't sure if a non-black man wanted to date them because of the stereotype of black women as being hypersexual. If I weren't covering the seminar I would've asked the white men what do they say to their black girlfriends/wives if they vent about a racist experience. Remember that scene at the grocery store in the movie Something New?

All in all, a very interesting day. Weaver says she's taking the seminar on the road to Chicago, Atlanta and NYC later this year. Don't forget to listen to the story below and feel free to speak your mind. Check back in a few days because I will post interviews from the seminar that didn't make the cut.

UPDATE: EXTRA AUDIO IS ON THE 2ND HALF OF THE COCOA FLY NEWS SHOW HERE


Comments

  1. When you make a comment go to the Name/URL option and just type in a name. You don't have to type in a URL. That way there won't be a lot of "Anonymous" comments.

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  2. I would've loooved to have been @ this seminar. It sounds like it was full of timely AND much needed info.

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  3. Interracial dating is a romantic relationship between people from different races.

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  4. Thanks Jenee for covering this timely event. Excellent NPR segment. So many women were waiting to hear or see some results. Being on NPR gave the entire concept of bw interracial dating more credibility and women are going for it! Thanks again and great site by the way. Keep up the good work!

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  5. I want to come to the next seminar and put in my two cents.

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  6. @ Lorraine-Thank you for your comments.

    @ Sam-If you were at the conference what would you have said? I'm curious.

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  7. I am quite interested in a seminar like thsi coming to ATL...please..keep me posted! :)

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  8. @ Mocha Peach
    When I hear more news I'll keep you posted.

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  9. Please post when you will be having this seminar in Chicago..

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  10. I'm sad to see this personally. Why won't we take some serious steps to solving the problems from within. Some sistahs really believe that men of other races will automatically treat them better no questions asked. Well you will soon find that Men are Men and you can be just another piece of a** with them too!

    When I see Pres. Obama and the first lady I see real love and that's what women really want. There are problems we need to work out in ourselves and with our men that can change the tide where all black women can have a mate. No other race would have such a seminar because they don't have the socially constructed hate betwenn men and women.

    The problem with many sisters is they have baggage and if YOU don't change YOU no man will be with you. You attract what you think of yourself. All the pre-conceived notions we have that white men or whom ever will treat us right puts us in some fairytale that doesn't exist. Why not date Brothers from different cultures...Brazilians, English, Carribean, African or wherever? WE owe it to our ancestors. Integration has gotten us what? 40 years later we are still at the bottom of every statistic I can think of. Happiness comes from within and Sistahs if you love and find yourself, you will be ready for the right man. What are you really looking for? But to each his own.

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  11. Toni thank you so much for your comment. Someone in the piece said something similar to your argument. The relationship therapist said don't go in a interracial relationship thinking black men are better because men are men. I agree that we should take care of our minds and spirits first before getting into any relationship.

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  12. Jenee, great job on the radio piece.

    TheMochaPeach, the seminar will be coming to Atlanta (and New York, Chicago, DC, Philly, Oakland and Detroit).

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  13. Find out dates for the seminars at: www.FreeYourMind.me

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  14. If you are still a singles and wants to mingle with your friend or of your GF or BF than now you will not be singles any more. Among completelly free online dating sites its a very much reliable and good dating site for singles where they can find a dating partner from their local region through out the glob.

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