Starting Your Dreams Later In Life and Embracing the Detour

I know it's been a while since I've posted anything but that's because of my job. I'm working as a reporter covering Oakland and I host an arts segment on the radio where I get to interview amazing artists from around the Bay Area. Plus I'm publicizing my book and building my speaking career! 
You know what's funny? I thought this would all happen by the time I was 27-30.  Nope. That wasn't God's plan for me. I'm finally beginning to do the things I've wanted to do and I'm almost 40 years old. Some people reading this who are 40 will say 40 is still young. But some younger people reading may think 40 is nearly ancient. But I'm writing this post for those who like me, thought their career and personal dreams would come true much early in life. I'm here to tell you not to give up. 
You know, death inspires life. A number of my relatives and friends have passed away, ranging in age from 20's to 80's. Actor Luke Perry, my middle…

Loving My Itty Bitty Boobies

Yesterday I watched a segment on The Doctors about breast implants. There was a short video of a sista named Meladi, 23. She's about my height, weighed 130 lbs, small up top and curvy in the hip and butt area. We were physical matches. She points to her breasts and says, "I'm a B-cup. B for bad." Then a plastic surgeon says she could use a boob job to make her look "more proportionate." She looked fine to me.

The sista can do to her body what she chooses. But I'm proud of my little boobies. It took me a while to reach this point. For some reason, the big breasts gene that runs on both my mom and dad sides of the family skipped me. Aside from my five-year old cousin and I, the women in my family are packing a C-cup and up. I fall in the A to B-cup category. When I was 14 my Aunt M would say, "Don't worry, they'll grow." She said the same thing to me when I turned 15, 16, 17. By the time I reached 18 my aunt gave up hope and told me, "Girl, you don't want to deal with the big boobs anyway. It's not all that. They're a hassle."

"Puh-lease, " I thought. "If big boobs weren't all that, women wouldn't be paying thousands of dollars for plastic surgeons to cut into their chests and Pamela Anderson would be out of work." I know my aunt was trying to sugar coat the situation but it didn't work. I prayed often that I would wake up one day and find my perky plums had bloomed into captivating cantaloupes. But no luck.

I had a change of my heart in my early 20's. During one of my "Why did everybody get big breasts but me?" rants, my mom gently shut me down. She said, "You should be thankful and love your body. There are people who have serious illnesses and would probably love to switch places with you." Ouch. Never thought about that. And of course she told me to complain when the baby girls start sagging.

After that conversation, I began really looking at my chest in the mirror and a love affair with my small breasts blossomed . Or as I like to call them my Honor Roll Rack b/c they're straight A's! Get it? Don't act like that joke wasn't funny. But seriously, I realized that life is too short to be worrying about boobs. I'm young and I don't want to start appreciating my body when I'm old. I want to love it now. So I see the good in having tiny tatas: no back problems, easier to find shirts that fit me, being mistaken for a teenager, and my favorite--going braless. Yes I keep an extra roll of Scotch tape in the summer when I'm rocking the tank top and it's too hot for a bra. When I do need a little "umph" to fill out a top, let's just say I work wonders. And having small boobs hasn't stopped me from getting hit on by men or feeling sexy. Or should I say "sexA?"

To all my sistas in the itty bitty club, show love to the baby girls. Stay perky, "B" proud and keep it sexA.

Photo credit:
1.Yasmin Warsame posing in Vogue Italia, July 2008
2. sexA and fly sista Jada Pinkett-Smith


  1. There was a time when I was a B cup. Those days are long gone and sorely missed. I agree with your aunt, big breasts can be a pain. However, there are two sure fire ways to make your boobs bigger naturally... gain weight or have a baby. If I had a choice (which I don't), I'd prefer to be skinny and flat chested.

  2. We always want what we don't have.

  3. During my pregnancy and after my Baby was born I went from an A to a C. You think I would be happy as I want bigger boobs but the contrary I was disappointed! Fortunate for me I went down a B cup after breastfeeding stopped. I'm much happier with my lil boobs :-)

  4. I guess my aunt was right. Lucky for you, your cup size eventually returned to normal. My mom told me some women's cup size remain bigger after the baby is born. I'm sure that's cool for some women too.

  5. As a person who has big boobs your aunt is so right. I genuinely wish mine were smaller. Went bathing suit shopping today and couldn't find bikini, tankini, one-piece, anything that would hold up, shit not just hold up but cover even half the chi chis. Glad to hear you love and embrace yours!! You're lucky and sexA ; )

  6. Women out there in breastland please wake up. Stop going under the knife to change what you weren't born with. When was the last time you heard that a man died due to plastic surgery. A man says you takes me as I am, or get on because nobody is cutting on me. That's the attitude that women should have because risking your life for bigger or smaller breast ain't worth it.

  7. Anonymous #1--good luck hunting for a bathing suit. I'm sure when you do find the right size your chi chis are going to look nice on the beach. :)

    Anonymous #2-Do you think it's okay to go under the knife if you want a breast reduction b/c of back pain?

  8. I never cared about having big breasts I never understood what the big deal was about them. I think I'm an A or a small B cup and I've always liked my small breasts. Women with bigger breasts would try to put me down then they would get upset because I didn't envy what they had.

  9. Rock it gals. From a 51 year old with the breasts of a 16 year old vs. my friends who are saggin' so far south........both I and my husband are very happy.
    One piece of advice - keep your ass in shape!

  10. Flat tits are gross

  11. It all comes down how you feel about it. If you feel great, even if you are small, nobody will notice anything. Confidence is everything!!

  12. im a 34 B...and my bf tells me all the time..
    "Babe i like your boobs there nice and perfect and they dont sag and i like that and your body goes great with them so dont get breast implants..." i still wish they were a little bit bigger not all BIG cause thats gross... but yeah =/ thats life

  13. yeah i'm still getting growing pains though so thats good i'm happy :]


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