Starting Your Dreams Later In Life and Embracing the Detour

Jenee Darden speaking at Creative Mornings I know it's been a while since I've posted anything but that's because of my job. I'm working as a reporter covering Oakland and I host an arts segment on the radio where I get to interview amazing artists from around the Bay Area. Plus I'm publicizing my book  and building my speaking career!  You know what's funny? I thought this would all happen by the time I was 27-30.  Nope. That wasn't God's plan for me. I'm finally beginning to do the things I've wanted to do and I'm almost 40 years old. Some people reading this who are 40 will say 40 is still young. But some younger people reading may think 40 is nearly ancient. But I'm writing this post for those who like me, thought their career and personal dreams would come true much early in life. I'm here to tell you not to give up.  You know, death inspires life. A number of my relatives and friends have passed away, ranging in

Macy Gray Sings Her Heart Out to Her Vibrator B.O.B. and Encourages Women to Self-Pleasure

From Macy Gray's video B.O.B.
With all of the crazy, evil stuff going on in the world, I needed this laugh. Yes, singer Macy Gray made a love song about her Battery Operated Boyfriend or BOB. 

In this cheesy, adorable, cartoon music video that carries a lot of truth, she tells us what makes B.O.B. so great.

He gets me so excited. I turn him on. We go baby GO.
Start the fire and lightening, oooh ahhh oooh
I love my baby BOB…
He can go all night
Dark until the night
And we stop when I want to

I understand why she adores BOB and released a cartoon video with happy BOBs of different colors and batteries frolicking through her bedroom.

The song is catchy and the video is entertaining. Another reason why I like it is because it’s about masturbation. And a lot of women are uncomfortable talking about masturbation. Men are more open to talking about it than women. Macy Gray told Elle magazine, “I hope it opens women up to talk about what's really real for them. Women always have to be so private about [their sexuality] and their periods, whereas guys can just talk about their penises and whatever. Girls always have to be so ladylike about it. I hope girls can start talking...and just say the crudest stuff. 

I feel her, and I would also argue that women talking about masturbation or periods doesn’t even have to be crude. It can just be what it is. If you want to be crude about it, do you.

Self-pleasuring is healthy and it’s the safest form of sex you can have. Masturbation releases stress and anxiety. There are also studies that show women who do their “one-woman shows” have higher self-esteem and a more active sex life. You can read more about this at Women’s Health Magazine.

When I co-presented a workshop to women on pleasure after trauma, there were women in the room who had never masturbated. And some women said they were heading to Good Vibrations right after the workshop (Good Vibrations gave us a discount code for attendees). Some of these women were in their golden years and had never gave themselves pleasure.  I hope they found a new friend in B.O.B.

***Macy Gray joins a list of other women artist who have sang praises for self-love, including:
Tweet featuring Missy Elliot “Oops (Oh My)
T-Boz Touch Myself
Cynic Lauper, “She Bop”
Britney Spears “Touch of My Hand”
Janet Jackson made some kinky sounds on an intermission on The Velvet Rope album that strongly implied masturbation

What songs did I miss?