Starting Your Dreams Later In Life and Embracing the Detour

I know it's been a while since I've posted anything but that's because of my job. I'm working as a reporter covering Oakland and I host an arts segment on the radio where I get to interview amazing artists from around the Bay Area. Plus I'm publicizing my book and building my speaking career! 
You know what's funny? I thought this would all happen by the time I was 27-30.  Nope. That wasn't God's plan for me. I'm finally beginning to do the things I've wanted to do and I'm almost 40 years old. Some people reading this who are 40 will say 40 is still young. But some younger people reading may think 40 is nearly ancient. But I'm writing this post for those who like me, thought their career and personal dreams would come true much early in life. I'm here to tell you not to give up. 
You know, death inspires life. A number of my relatives and friends have passed away, ranging in age from 20's to 80's. Actor Luke Perry, my middle…

Life is Like a Purple Tutu


Fly in my purple tutu at SF Pride's Dyke March


Remember the opening of “Sex & the City” when Carrie Bradshaw, sporting a cute tutu-skirt, was splashed by a bus that featured an ad with her column and picture? Oh, I love that show and I loved that outfit. Ever since then I’ve wanted to wear a tutu. 

I wore a purple tutu over the weekend at the Dyke March for San Francisco Pride. I went last year with friends and we had LOTS of fun marching and dancing in the street. This year’s theme was “My Body. My Business. My Power.” Isn’t that a powerful theme? One advocate named Leslie Ewing gave a great speech. She talked about her pride in being a lesbian and then how women’s bodies are judged and scrutinized. Whether it’s because some women dress more masculine, or more revealing, or have a disability  are overweight, etc; it doesn’t matter. Women bodies are constantly under surveillance, which is oppressive. There was a line I like. I don’t remember exactly what she said, but it was something like, no body is an accident or a mistake. 

I unapologetically got my nearly 35-year-old body in a purple tutu. And I happily danced through the Mission District all the way to the Castro along with thousands and thousands of women. Now I’m sure when I got on the BART train with my tutu, a few may have been thinking, “What the hell?” But I didn’t care. It was something I wanted to do. And those people don’t pay my bills. Actually a woman waiting for the train told me she liked my tutu.  I had a family critic say I shouldn’t wear a tutu. Again, I didn’t care. It’s my life. It’s my tutu. Hey, it’s also “My Body, My Business, My Power.” 

Life is like a purple tutu because you gotta take a chance, wear it and dance your way through it. And everybody might not like your tutu. Everybody might not like the choices you make that are making you happy. But you have to do you because life is too short. And I’m glad I tuned out the naysayers and joyfully danced through the streets of San Francisco to Diana Ross and Beyonce in my purple tutu and Mardi Gras beads. And no one can take away that experience from me. Nor can they can take away the compliments I got about my tutu. 

Plus I also participated to show my support and love to the LGBTQ community. And no one can take that away from me as well. 

I took this picture at last year's Dyke March. 

I recently lost a relative. He died in a car accident and was only 22 years old. He just graduated from college a few weeks prior. His death hurt my heart because he was so young and his future was so bright. But it reminded me that we don’t know how long we have in this life. And so we have to live it fully. Sometimes that means doing things that may not please everyone. Plus we have to live with gratitude. Trust me, I know life is hard. Life can be something else. Still I try to be thankful for something in my life when times are tough or good. 


So live your life with vibrancy and color. And dance like a 34-year-old woman, wearing a purple tutu, in the streets of San Francisco to “I’m Coming Out” like no one was watching.  

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