Starting Your Dreams Later In Life and Embracing the Detour

I know it's been a while since I've posted anything but that's because of my job. I'm working as a reporter covering Oakland and I host an arts segment on the radio where I get to interview amazing artists from around the Bay Area. Plus I'm publicizing my book and building my speaking career! 
You know what's funny? I thought this would all happen by the time I was 27-30.  Nope. That wasn't God's plan for me. I'm finally beginning to do the things I've wanted to do and I'm almost 40 years old. Some people reading this who are 40 will say 40 is still young. But some younger people reading may think 40 is nearly ancient. But I'm writing this post for those who like me, thought their career and personal dreams would come true much early in life. I'm here to tell you not to give up. 
You know, death inspires life. A number of my relatives and friends have passed away, ranging in age from 20's to 80's. Actor Luke Perry, my middle…

Sexpo: A Workshop About Women, Sexual Wellness and Pleasure

I keep describing this workshop as the presentation of my dreams. Last December I traveled to Austin, Texas for the Alternatives Conference. It’s the largest and oldest conference for and by people with mental health challenges. Two of my colleagues and I gave a women-only presentation on sexual wellness and pleasure.  It was such a powerful experience. At least 100 women were there. We talked about overcoming sexual trauma, psychiatric drugs that don’t affect your libido, the power of erotica, sexual anatomy, the G-Spot, history of vibrators, society’s views of women self-pleasuring, how women and people with mental health challenges are sexually stigmatized and more. 

L-R Jenee Darden aka Cocoa Fly,  Lisa Smusz, Kelechi Ubozoh




We also gave a similar presentation again at the UC Berkeley’s 29th Annual Empowering Women of Color Conference (EWOCC). And shout out to the organizers of EWOCC because they’re graduate students. When I was in graduate school, I barely had time to make a bowl of cereal let alone plan a conference. The people who attended our workshop were so cool and asked great questions. One of my favorite comments from our evaluations is “Thanks. I needed this.”  I’m looking forward to doing more of these in the very near future.

It feels good to help people and have fun while doing it.  Big ups to my co-presenters Kelechi Ubozoh and Lisa Smusz.


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