John Mayer's "Hood Pass" is DENIED

Z100s Jingle Ball 2009 - Show

Dear Mr. John Mayer:

The National Hood Association enjoys hearing you play the guitar. But your mouth has become a problem. Lately, when you open it for discussion, a hot toxic mess of oral diarrhea seems to dump out. Like that craziness you shared in your now infamous Playboy interview. You said you have a "hood pass." Who gave you this pass? Or did you print a fake one off of your computer? One of the roles of the National Hood Association is to make sure honorary hood passes are not distributed anymore. Living in the ghetto is not to be taken for granted. Life in the hood is hard. Poverty is rough. Life as a black or brown man isn't easy either. John, you have soul but that doesn't qualify you for hood status. Maybe you thought you were "down" because of your appearance on "Chapelle's Show" and your collaborations with Jay Z. Or was it your performance at THE black funeral, Michael Jackson? Sorry to tell you this but Dave Chapelle, Jigga and the Jacksons aren't gatekeepers to the hood. We love them, but let's be real. They don't even live in the hood anymore.
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We assume you think your phony hood pass entitles you to say the words "nigger", "fags" and disrespect women? Maybe you're trying to emulate black masculinity from what you've seen in some hip hop videos and other media. All black men don't use the N-word, the F-word or disrespect women. Although you apologized for dropping the N-bomb, that wasn't the only foul in your interview. You better pray Kerry Washington doesn't call Cousin Pookie and order a beat down for telling Playboy, "Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his d--k. Whatever.'"
John you ain't right. And FYI, people in the hood are protective over our black entertainers who are doing positive things. If what you said about Kerry is true, why tell the world and hurt her reputation? If it's false, why lie? Sistas are sexualized enough as it is. And black women have it tough in Hollywood. You should know this since you claim to be an honorary brotha. Kerry may want to skip the call to Pookie and reach her lawyers instead. Lord we miss Johnnie Cochran. And please stop media-pimping ex-girlfriend stories of Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson. WE DON'T CARE. Blabbing about sex with Jessica Simposn was plain wrong. We know dating them helped launched you into the mainstream. But do you always have to bring them up for publicity?

Speaking of your exes you said you prefer white women. We respect your choice in a lover. But what's up with not dating black women because you have a "white supremacist" penis? Or as you call it, a "David Duke c--k." Another red flag that your hood pass is a fake. Black people despise white supremacists. And a true brotha wouldn't name his penis after a Klansman because they have a history of lynching and castrating black men. We're sure this information is not new to you since you understand black culture. You're already aware white supremacists raped black women repeatedly during and post-slavery. As a man who says he's half-Jewish, you know how white supremacists feel about Jewish people. Right? And you still compare your willy to David Duke. Man, you've got issues.

One last thing John or J-Dog, since you're so hood. Brothas don't go on, and, on, and on about masturbating. Actually, probably a lot of men in general wouldn't spend a huge chunk of a Playboy interview talking about chocking the chicken. Or in your case, yanking the white sheet. So J-Dog please stop claiming hood status. We have enough problems already and don't need you to make them worse. By the way, that bootleg pass of yours is DENIED.

Sincerely,
The National Hood Association


Photo Credit:
Photo from BlogHer Picapp

Comments

  1. Mayer is an ass. Pure and simple.

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  2. Hmmm, I wonder if I could get a "suburban pass" and call Mayer a "cracker"... Just a thought.

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  3. Big ups to "The National Hood Association". I couldn't have said it better myself.

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  4. So it's you who's in charge of the passing out of hood passes!!! LOL! I was just on Symphony's blog and we were wondering!!
    Good job, and be more careful who you give this precious pass out to next time!! Love, Anna Renee

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  5. @ Anna The NHA tries to stop these faulty hood passes from being handed out. We're still trying to find out who's giving these people fake credentials. We're going to set up a branch of HoodLand security to cease these perps. We think fake passes started with the studio gangsters claiming to be hard. :)

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  6. Please use the "Name/URL" option when commenting. I don't care if it's fake.

    YOU DO NOT have to type in a URL.

    Thanks!

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  7. Department of Hoodland Security? There's been a breach on our borders! We're on red alert status. Who's guarding the corners? BWAHAHAHA! :D

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  8. @ Pookie LOL--We'll make you one of the heads of Hoodland Security. This just in:

    After John Mayer's false decelerations of Hood Status, the National Hood Association has started a new division--HoodLand Security. We're shutting down studio gangsters, impeached Illinois governors claiming to be blacker than the president, people who live in Piedmont but claim East Oakland, the cast of the Bad Girls Club and any person who grew up in the suburbs claiming hood status.

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  9. I did write a response to this article but my response was TOO BIG! So I put it up on my blog instead: http://thehilltopglove.blogspot.com/2010/02/i-was-sent-this-article-today.html

    you can read it and see "what do you think"

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  10. Thank you, thank you! You have echoed my thoughts. I was so pissed when I learned about JM's tacky comments that I surfed until found your cool site. I will pass along your blog. Signed: cocolola

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  11. John Mayer is a racist twit.

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  12. @ Hilltop and Me--thanks for your comments.

    @Cocoa Cola-thanks for telling people about Cocoa Fly.

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  13. That was awesome. Can I have your babies?!?

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  14. I am a black female and a music fan of John Mayer's. It is the only CD that I have playing in the car at this time I attended his concert a few years ago and I purchased tickets for his upcoming concerts in Los Angeles and Las Vegas in March. However, I so disappointed in his comments about his unattractiveness toward black women and liken his penis to David Dukes. It's very disheartening. He is immature and a misogynist too. I would be to embarrass to attend his concert. TICKETS FOR SALE

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  15. @ Anonymous--Wow! John Mayer's stupid remarks landed me a potential baby's daddy. LOL. Thanks for your comment.

    @ Dana-- I don't own any of his music but I liked his work. After these remarks I don't plan on listening to his stuff. Good luck on selling your tickets. I saw the billboard for his LA concert a few days ago. He needs to take his own advice from that "Waiting On The World To Change" song.

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  16. brilliant great article he got way too familar thought he was being cute and witty and forgot that hes a poor man's sting! he's not even up to eric claptons standards let alone in the realm of a bb king. Where did he get this idea that bw gave a rat's arse about him? hes a loser and he and his twin kanye need to just disappear and shut up. And fyi kerry would never enetrtain him that for me was the worst and most disrespectful comment as he tried to reduced this beautiful classy women to one of his skanky hoes!

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  17. @ Maurie--I'm way late getting to this comment. I didn't see it. My apolgoies. But YES, YES, YES to everything you said. I thought what he said about Kerry Washington was the worst too. It's been a few months and he's been quiet, which is a smart move. I think if Chris Brown had kept his mouth shut for a long time like Mayer and Kanye he could have salvaged his career. But that's another platter of hot mess I'm not tackling.

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