Starting Your Dreams Later In Life and Embracing the Detour

Jenee Darden speaking at Creative Mornings I know it's been a while since I've posted anything but that's because of my job. I'm working as a reporter covering Oakland and I host an arts segment on the radio where I get to interview amazing artists from around the Bay Area. Plus I'm publicizing my book  and building my speaking career!  You know what's funny? I thought this would all happen by the time I was 27-30.  Nope. That wasn't God's plan for me. I'm finally beginning to do the things I've wanted to do and I'm almost 40 years old. Some people reading this who are 40 will say 40 is still young. But some younger people reading may think 40 is nearly ancient. But I'm writing this post for those who like me, thought their career and personal dreams would come true much early in life. I'm here to tell you not to give up.  You know, death inspires life. A number of my relatives and friends have passed away, ranging in

Did Tiger Woods Do Black Women a Favor?

36th Ryder Cup - Gala Dinner

First off what Tiger Woods did with his pack of jumpoffs is not racial. He's a cheating husband which last I checked crosses all color lines. What he has done to his wife and children is just plain sad. There are many lessons to be learned from this hot- mess- on- a -platter scandal. But today I want to talk to my sistas. Particularly, my sistas who can't stand to see a black man with a non-black woman. And don't let him be an educated, rich black man who is down with the swirl. Some of my sistas have steam coming out of their ears just thinking about it.

Here's the lesson from Tiger Gate: Don't judge a brotha with a non-black woman because you don't know what's really going on in their relationship. I know some of my sistas are disgusted with Tiger because he doesn't seem to date black women, nor sleep with them. I've even heard people complain, "Damn, he couldn't have had an affair with at least one black woman?" Hell no and I thank him for not sleeping with a black woman. Black, white, brown, purple--why would any woman share a bed with him after this? I remember when Woods first married his wife. Go to a black beauty salon back then and many sistas shared the same feeling: If only he married a black woman, made pretty black babies and took the Huxtable family dream into the stratosphere. Fast forward to today and some of you have a different stand. The grass isn't always greener in Cablasia. Money, fame and influence can't heal their family. Woods has a problem keeping it zipped. There's an international AIDS epidemic going on and black women are at high risk for so many STDs. The last thing a sista needs to do is make a visit to the clinic because Tiger allegedly sleeps with any thing who winks at him. I pray for his wife's sake he used protection when romping with these women. Then there's the embarrassment factor. What wife, aside from Kate Gosselin, wants their rocky marriage discussed all over the world? If Tiger never jumps on the black side of love, that's fine by me.

Tiger Woods has been inducted into my "Brothas I Wouldn't Date If They Went Back To Black Club." Other members include O.J. Simpson and Wesley Snipes. All successful, rich, handsome black men many of us would have loved to be their Mrs. But, wife batterers, killers and tax evaders just don't turn me on.

Sistas next time you see a handsome black man with a non-black woman don't give them the evil eye. He can date who he wants and you don't know the circumstances. The man could be husband of the year or no good, lying dirty dog of the year. Do yourself a favor. Drop the evil eye. Instead, look for the men around you who seem available and are checking you out. Or be thankful for the good man you have at home. Hopefully Tiger Woods does ALL women a favor for a while and keep his strokes on the golf course.


  1. Well, of course you probably know by now that yesterday two of Tiger's jump-offs stated that he never used a condom with them. Don't even now what to say about that one. You are out there sleeping with whoever catches your fancy and you don't even have the decency to protect your wife from whatever foolishness you might run upon? Sistas, don't fret. This is what you were missing out on.

  2. Thank you Nita & Max for your comments. Max, I didn't hear rumors of unprotected sex. I agree with you if you're going to cheat, AT LEAST, use a condom. Well, as I said, I hope his wife is STD free.

  3. The truth is Tiger Woods does NOT identify himself as black or African American, so your post is pointless.

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  5. @ Susan Thank you for your comment. This post is speaking to black women who get upset over seeing black men dating outside of their race. The point was to show that instead of getting angry or even jealous, keep in mind you don't know what's going on in a relationship behind closed doors. And if you knew the truth, he may be a man you wouldn't date or wouldn't want your girls to date. I think Tiger's scandal proves that. I know he doesn't identify as black, nor Asian. But his daddy was black and there are golf courses in the U.S. today Tiger can't play because of the skin color he doesn't recognize. My post does make a POINT. You just missed it.

  6. I really wish that black women would stop being so vocal about rich, educated, black men dating non-black women. Nobody cares about what ails black women. Everybody is laughing at us!!! This is only the beginning! 14% of black american men are married to non-black women. Get over it. Our wealthiest men have already sent out the message to the world that they consider their own women to be the lowest on the totem pole. There are some BEAUTIFUL black women who are single. Date outside of the race!!!Do what they do! Expand your option

  7. @Anonymous....actually thats not true. Only about 6% of the black men that are married have done so outside of their race, so lets not feed into false stats. The majority of us black men love and marry black women, we need to focus on that. A person should marry whomever they wish to no matter what race, because at the end of the day its about whats inside a person.

  8. @ Ozzie and Anonymous: I saw the 6% figure on Wikipedia but I know that's not always an accurate source. When I did my NPR story on interracial dating I cited a Stanford study that said black men are 3 times more likely than sistas to marry outside of their race.

    You can see that story here:


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