Starting Your Dreams Later In Life and Embracing the Detour

Jenee Darden speaking at Creative Mornings I know it's been a while since I've posted anything but that's because of my job. I'm working as a reporter covering Oakland and I host an arts segment on the radio where I get to interview amazing artists from around the Bay Area. Plus I'm publicizing my book  and building my speaking career!  You know what's funny? I thought this would all happen by the time I was 27-30.  Nope. That wasn't God's plan for me. I'm finally beginning to do the things I've wanted to do and I'm almost 40 years old. Some people reading this who are 40 will say 40 is still young. But some younger people reading may think 40 is nearly ancient. But I'm writing this post for those who like me, thought their career and personal dreams would come true much early in life. I'm here to tell you not to give up.  You know, death inspires life. A number of my relatives and friends have passed away, ranging in

If He Only Had a Brain...

Picture it...Thursday night at the W Hotel. My friend and I are at a party for a guy launching his campaign for Congress. It's Buppie central. Suits and cocktail dresses are on and business cards are out. The dj is spinning old-school Michael Jackson slow jams and I'm feeling real good with my glass of Chardonnay. Don't worry I'm not driving. A few guys walk over to our sofa and chat with us. Minutes later, their friend who's been looking for them comes over. Oh, the friend. He was 5'9, muscular, bald with bright ivory teeth and dark-chocolate skin. Godiva couldn't make candy taste look that good. He shook my hand and gave me an enchanting smile.
Don't break the spell. I smiled back and we started chatting. The energy between us was crazy. CRAZY. In the midst of our conversation we locked eyes and stopped talking. "Down Girl," I told myself. Once I snapped out of my lustful trance we continued to talk. I liked what I heard--single, no kids, working, in the military. He seemed like a nice guy. Then the topic of college came up. Chocolate Drop graduated from a Cal State with a pre-med degree. I told him I'm an UC and USC alum. My Cocoa Dream instantly replied I was smart and pretty. Okay, he's saying the right things. He mentioned the prestige of my alma maters then told me he wasn't smart. If I were on a TV show you would hear the record scratch and come to a halt. Huh? Maybe he's joking. We talked about politics, geography and life. Then he said it again, "I'm not smart." What the heck? He also added he doesn't make good decisions, is a follower and not a leader. We went from Michael Jackson's "Rock With You" to "Scream." I dried up like the Mojave after hearing that. Well, not quite like the Mojave because the physical attraction was so strong I gave him my number anyway. Can't see the wording? I wrote "Igavehimmynmuberanyway." He looked so yummy. I know that's not a good reason but, ahhh, I did. My Dark Knight went to the restroom and my friend recognized someone she knew. This guy was decked out like Fonzworth Bentley: v-neck sweater, tie, peter pan collar shirt and slacks. My Muscular Milk Dud, sporting a button-up shirt and jeans saw us chatting and later on asked me about "the nerd" I was speaking with. Oh no. Someone has insecurities with their intelligence. When Chocolate Drop called me the next day, I didn't pick up.

Confidence and intelligence are HUGE turn-ons for me. Chocolate Drop turned me off when he appeared intimidated by my credentials. He seemed like a nice guy but I felt he was trying to lower my expectations of him. Why would a man tell a woman he's not a leader, not smart and makes bad decisions? That's sad and UN-sexy. I definitely don't want a man who feels inferior to me because of my credentials. Some men have told me I'm single because guys find my educational background intimidating. Well, I don't want those guys. I'm proud of my education and if a guy can't appreciate my success, he's not the one for me. Even if his body is chiseled from a Hershey's bar. Yep, life is like a box of chocolates....


  1. EWWWWWW!! Girl I woulda dried up too! What an ULTRA TURN OFF!!Did he want you to "dumb yourself down" (as my boy Lupe says so eloquently) to get his attention? I mean..maybe we can work with him if he is as fine as you say he is! LOL!

  2. Mocha Peach I thought I could work with him but he looked so uncomfortable when he saw me talking to "Fonzworth." I had to think with my head on this one. ;)

  3. I think your education is soo attractive, impressive and something to respect!

    It is sad when i person has insecurity issues! Hold on to your guns and don't settle for anything less than you deserve MAMI!

    I love smart women! ( The only type that keep me interested )

    Men love a challenge and i sure enjoy being able to talk to you and NOT have to explain my point!! COMRENDE????

    Well Done!!!


    Hugo JUICE :)

  4. That's an instant turnoff. It would be bad enough if he were just dumb. If he thinks he's dumb and he tells other people that, that's the worst. I think confidence is one of the most important characteristics for a potential man. That's not to be confused with arrogance, which is not sexy either.

  5. @Erika--Women want to feel their man can protect them and take control when needed. How can you do that if you're not confident in your thinking ability?

    Arrogance is NOT sexy either.


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