Starting Your Dreams Later In Life and Embracing the Detour

Jenee Darden speaking at Creative Mornings I know it's been a while since I've posted anything but that's because of my job. I'm working as a reporter covering Oakland and I host an arts segment on the radio where I get to interview amazing artists from around the Bay Area. Plus I'm publicizing my book  and building my speaking career!  You know what's funny? I thought this would all happen by the time I was 27-30.  Nope. That wasn't God's plan for me. I'm finally beginning to do the things I've wanted to do and I'm almost 40 years old. Some people reading this who are 40 will say 40 is still young. But some younger people reading may think 40 is nearly ancient. But I'm writing this post for those who like me, thought their career and personal dreams would come true much early in life. I'm here to tell you not to give up.  You know, death inspires life. A number of my relatives and friends have passed away, ranging in

Is VH1's Tough Love Fake? And
Peep Game from Louisiana's First Lady Supriya Jindal

My favorite VH1 reality show Tough Love ended its first season last weekend. Ladies, you have to watch this show. I've learned so much about men and myself watching this show. Matchmaker Steven Ward is on point with his advice. I wrote about the show last month and one of the ladies from the show left a message on Cocoa Fly. Shout out to Abiola Abrams for stopping by on Cocoa Fly. You can read what she wrote here. I rooted for this sista to find love. She met a nice guy in LA but in end the long distance thing wasn't working. I hope she finds Mr. Right. As for Jacklyn, her story doesn't sound right . She met this really cool, handsome dude on the show named Brock. Granted, that's how he came off on camera. They were vibing. When she returned to Texas she got engaged to her ex-boyfriend who wouldn't commit to her in the past. HOLD UP. That's the ending VH1 told the viewers. But, Jacklyn blogs on the Tough Love website:

Everyone writing me about Brock It was his fault we didn't work out not mine! Never went back to my ex. Needed times to think told both guys this. From that point it was me texting, calling brock. He never made much effort so finally I stopped. He once told me He came on the show cause HE thought he was just helping girls out with dating problems so I guess he did his job and moved on so bug him not me. Everyone else thanks for the support. God has a plan for me and I'm in no RUSH. It'll all work out. Posted on 05.05.09 11:44

You mean to tell me all of the kissing and third-base action between Jacklyn and Brock were a bunch of crock? Is Tough Love hoodwinking viewers? Are the guys on there just hired actors pretending to be men looking for love? Or if Jacklyn took her ex back is she embarrassed and making this up? Not sure. I'm still going to watch the show because I like the advice Steve gives but I'm very skeptical of how "real" this reality show is supposed to be.

VH1 Cocoa Fly readers want answers! Email me. Please.

Peep Game

Jacklyn's struggle with her ex reminds me of Meghan McCain's interview with Louisiana First Lady Supriya Jindal for The Daily Beast. Apparently when Gov. Bobby Jindal (R) and Supriya were courting in their pre-politics days, he stood her up for on their second date. Yes he did girl. Bobby stood her up. Mrs. Jindal has a business degree and a background in chemical engineering. As you can see she's also very pretty. I guess she looked in the mirror that night and thought, "I'm the prize." Check out the excerpt from
The Daily Beast below:

SJ: He asked me out on a second date, and I said yes. Well, I think I said no at first because I was traveling. So I said why don’t you come and join me and my friends for dinner? Because I wanted him to meet my friends. I had been telling them what a great guy he was and all that stuff. We went to this great restaurant in New Orleans and he likes to say (he has his own version of the story at this point) the waiter had to come over to tell me he wasn’t coming...


SJ: Yeah, the waiter came with a note saying he wasn’t coming. And I was with my friends and had to tell them that this amazing guy that I just met wasn’t coming.

MM: Where was he?

SJ: Working with the legislature, got a cold, didn’t feel well. Every version of an excuse you can think of. So, he invites me out on the third date and I tell him “no.” This goes on for about six months. He would call me, we would have nice conversations. He would ask me out and I would tell him “no.”

MM: As you should have.

SJ: So he finally asks, “Are you ever going to go out with me?” I said, “Yeah, I’m just busy, you know”—my little shrug off. And he said, “When are you not going to be busy?” I said “in a month.” I was working on my master's at the time and working nights and working crazy schedules. I won’t be free for a month. He says "a month" and takes out his calendar: "I want to book you in a month for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I want to book you for those three days." So I said, “OK.” So that weekend, he calls and asks if we were still going out and I said, “I guess so.” So we went out and had a wonderful time. We were engaged about a month later, it was pretty quick.

MM: How’d you know he was the one?

I think it was one of those things where we had a wonderful time when we were together but we also had a wonderful time talking during those six months with our phone conversations, getting to know each other and so when we finally were together it made it all right. It was good. It’s a crazy story.

Whew, she made the man wait 6 months. I heard that!! Good for you Mrs. Jindal. She showed him her love isn't a game and put herself first. Now she's chilling in the Louisina Governor's Mansion and hopefully he's treating her right. She didn't sacrifice her education or integrity to get a man. Those are mistakes many women still make today. Personally I would have to date a man longer than a month before marrying him. But if it's working for them, more power to them.

I don't hate on successful people like Mrs. Jindal. I take notes and pass on the knowledge. I guess Supryia figured if Bobby wanted her bad enough, he had to prove himself. Which is what Steve said the whole season on Tough Love--let the man you're dating prove he's worth you're love. But we as women have to keep in mind that our love is valuable. That's the key. It's a lesson that took me a long time to learn and it's a lesson a whole lot of us need to keep re-learning.

Just passing on the knowledge ladies.


  1. old news!!

    check out they broke down actors on the show and other shit they do!

  2. I just saw the article you were talking about on That blogger did write about VH1's Tough Love hiring actors on his April 29th post. So you're right in that respect. However, my post is about someone from the cast actually coming out saying that the guy she dated was hired to come on the show. She made these comments after the gentleman's post from I didn't see that on his blog. So my post is not old news.

  3. No hun the show is not fake. I just filmed the 6th season and let me tell you it was as real as it gets. Some of the guys intentions can be questioned as i dated a guy who i later found out was a model musician actor. But as for me i was all in 100% real. Enjoy the show ladies :)


Post a Comment