Hello, my name is Jenee Darden and I'm addicted to Home & Garden Television.
Granite counter tops, stainless steel appliances, double vanity sinks, curbside appeal, hardwood floors. Whew, I'm getting excited!
I took my first hit of HGTV about six months ago. It was a cold Sunday night. I was channel surfing while chatting on the phone with my sorority sister Jo. You always remember the ones who got you high the first time. I couldn't find anything good to watch.
Channel 5--nothing. Channel 130- "How Do I Look" re-run. Hmm, what's on TLC? Awww come on. I've seen this "What Not to Wear" episode twice already.
I settled for watching the last half of "Cold Case." Usually I don't watch mystery shows if I missed the beginning, but I was desperate for some entertainment.
Then Jo said, "You gotta see this. Turn to the Home and Garden channel."
"The Home and Garden channel?," I asked. "I'm not turning to the Home and Garden channel. Only old ladies watch the Home and Garden channel."
"Just turn to it. You gotta see this guy decorate this house. He's crazy," she said.
I reluctantly did a search for this HGTV channel to find the dial number because Jo and I don't live in the same city. I pressed 7-4 on my remote control and a young Canadian dude popped on my TV screen, wearing an outfit that looked like something from the "The Breakfast Club." His name is Matthew Finlason and he's a home stager. I couldn't turn away as he arranged lamps on glass table tops to bring attention to the living area's large window. Matthew moved so fast the camera could hardly keep up with him. His method of decorating is frantic and free-spirited. Yet he follows the rules of how to stage a home to draw buyers. I was hooked on this show called "The Stagers."
It gets worse. I kept the dial on 74. Next up was "Property Virgins"(love ya Sandra Rinomato!), then "House Hunters," "My First Place" and "House Hunters International." Why was I slightly obsessed with watching people buy homes?
"Pick number two, number two!," I yelled to the young couple shopping for a home in Ann Arbor. If only they could hear me.
"No they're going to pick number three," Jo said.
"It makes more sense for them to pick number two Jo, " I argued. "They get more bang for their buck because the bedrooms in the second house are bigger."
The couple made their pick. Jo was right.
Hours passed and by the time "My Big Amazing Renovation," came on, it was 1:00 AM. Jo and I called it a night. But this HGTV channel felt good. So good that I tried "Color Splash" the next day. No one can make a room pop with a lime green accent wall like David Bromstad. Don't worry, I didn't start sniffing paint.
A few days later I was happy to see black decorators. I love watching my fly sista, Kim Myles show off her endless talent on "Myles of Style." Lauren Lake is another fly sista bringing flavor to her show "Spice Up My Kitchen."
I thought I could ween myself once the winter/spring TV season started in January. So I tried talking myself out of pressing 74 on my TV remote.
I can watch other channels. There are good shows on TV that don't involve installing
cherry- wood cabinetry. Right?
It was just my luck HGTV then debuted "Dear Genevieve" and I got a bigger buzz. YES! I mean, Lord help me.
It took me a while to recognize my addiction. I knew I had a problem when I watched "My First Place" one night and recognized someone from college buying a home in Denver. I've watched HGTV so much that I'm starting to see people I know. That's not good.
I've done some soul searching on my HGTV craze. Want to know why I really love this channel? I'm a dreamer. When I see people shopping and decorating their homes I think about how one day that will be me. One day I will make enough money to buy that 4-bedroom house with the two-car garage, wrap-around porch and plush backyard where my roses and greens will grow. One day I'll write articles for O Magazine from my home office. My clothes will hang in a spacious walk-in closet with custom shelving built for my shoes and hats. I'll take bubble baths on rainy days in a jet tub that rests under a skylight. And I'll relax to the sound of raindrops dancing against the window.
One day I'll have a husband and we'll spend summers in our London flat or Costa Rica beach house.
Maybe one day someone will yell at their television and tell me to pick house number two.
Photos from HGTV.com