Starting Your Dreams Later In Life and Embracing the Detour

Jenee Darden speaking at Creative Mornings I know it's been a while since I've posted anything but that's because of my job. I'm working as a reporter covering Oakland and I host an arts segment on the radio where I get to interview amazing artists from around the Bay Area. Plus I'm publicizing my book  and building my speaking career!  You know what's funny? I thought this would all happen by the time I was 27-30.  Nope. That wasn't God's plan for me. I'm finally beginning to do the things I've wanted to do and I'm almost 40 years old. Some people reading this who are 40 will say 40 is still young. But some younger people reading may think 40 is nearly ancient. But I'm writing this post for those who like me, thought their career and personal dreams would come true much early in life. I'm here to tell you not to give up.  You know, death inspires life. A number of my relatives and friends have passed away, ranging in

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Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

I'm almost 30 years old and my mother still calls to tell me to watch Oprah because there's something on the show I need to learn. Steve Harvey's brief appearance on Oprah a few weeks ago convinced my mom that she and I should both read his book "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man." I have not bought the book. My mother has the book and swears by it. She says it has good relationship advice. My mother even read excerpts to me over the phone. Don't you love moms?

Oprah gave Steve Harvey a full hour on Monday. He talked about how women shouldn't lower their standards. Also, don't expect something from a man that you're also not willing to offer.
This one 37-year-old sista wrote on her list that she's looking for a God-fearing, African-American man who's a millionaire, can dance, and I believe she said he has to be between 5'7 and 6'2. I may be off with the height.
Harvey said, "Are you willing to be the same thing to him that you're talking about on that list?" A lot of women are not."
Then they featured these pretty, successful sistas from NYC, in their 30's who are looking for love. Oprah said women like them and Gayle are intimidating to men because men like to feel needed. And if you're successful woman, some men think they may not be able to afford to take care of you. Steve said men express their love with the 3 P's.

"We profess, we provide and we protect," he said. "A man has got to see where he fits into the providing and protecting role. If you've got everything, you can do everything, you've got your own car … you've got a guard dog and a handgun. The guy is thinking, 'Where do I fit in here?' You've got to make a space for him to fit in so he can come in and do what men do."

Steve has this 90-days until sex rule. This one sista from DC on the show doesn't have intercourse because she's a Christian and saving herself for marriage. BUT, she receives oral sex and does heavy petting with her partner. The woman emphasized received. She wanted to know if the 90-day rule applied to oral and foreplay. If that woman in DC could only hear me from my bedroom in LA. Sex is sex. Whether it involves a penis, finger or a tongue. Sex is sex. People like her crack me up. My mom said the young sista sounded like Bill Clinton. HA! Good one mom.

I'm going to read Steve's book. I tried to check it out from the library but I would've been number 340 on the waiting list. I guess this book is in high demand. If you read it tell us your thoughts. And if you missed Steve on Oprah, he'll be on Tyra today. You can read about Monday's show on


  1. I read it. I highly recommend it. It was very interesting. I learned a few things. I think the biggest thing I got out of the book was how much control a woman has when it comes to relationships. We're really the ones who decide where the relationship will go, but often we see it as a man choosing to be with us. I saw the last half hour of Steve on Oprah. I'm glad he didn't put his wife's business all out in the street when that woman asked about men's "grooming" preferences. I was hoping to be able to attend a book discussion one of the DC area Meetup groups is having. However, there is a wait list just to attend a discussion of the book! So I've decided to plan a girls' night discussion with some friends instead.

  2. Ladies, ladies please go out and buy his book. He gives excellent examples of what a man needs from his woman, and what men want in a relationship. It's a quick read and it's worth the investment. I got it on Amazon for $13.00.

  3. Mom and Erika have spoken. Since I just got a 40% off coupon from Borders I'll buy the book.

    I need some Oprah money so I can fly to DC and participate in Erikah's girls night book discussion. Sounds fun!!


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