tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14577123590041615592024-03-05T04:48:18.311-08:00Cocoa FlyJenee Darden hosts the Cocoa Fly blog and podcast. She brings a fresh voice to stories and commentary on women, race, sex and wellness.
Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.comBlogger496125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-35279693141582045642022-06-05T14:56:00.000-07:002022-06-05T14:56:00.968-07:00It's None of Your Damn Business: Stop Asking Women if They're Pregnant<p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAFOF-szaK7yDECP4jA5dveWJSD5fef-SLDYSebkj-kVXVKVQ9NRWipHrHnzsS9DCPskcX2jblZIm1MBU-uEC4yP15IrvXVUIpkM_wXTARGhYadMZNX2V-EVG19FevAkLIPET8gEZ5GfjREiNLktk-w-eAJ-i4L01Q15XhMfiHVD48MpD5G_q9Ghq8/s512/512px-9cmFibroidUS.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="sonogram photo of 9cm fibroid" border="0" data-original-height="432" data-original-width="512" height="338" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAFOF-szaK7yDECP4jA5dveWJSD5fef-SLDYSebkj-kVXVKVQ9NRWipHrHnzsS9DCPskcX2jblZIm1MBU-uEC4yP15IrvXVUIpkM_wXTARGhYadMZNX2V-EVG19FevAkLIPET8gEZ5GfjREiNLktk-w-eAJ-i4L01Q15XhMfiHVD48MpD5G_q9Ghq8/w400-h338/512px-9cmFibroidUS.png" title="Sonogram photo of 9cm fibroid" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That's not a baby, but a 9cm fibroid. This fibroid is about the <br />size of a grapefruit. <br />Photo by<a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:9cmFibroidUS.png" target="_blank"> James Heilman, MD, CC BY-SA 3.0</a></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /></p><p>These are the questions I have been getting over the last 10 years: </p><p><i>Them: Is that food or are you pregnant?! </i></p><p><i>Me: I have fibroids</i></p><p><i>Them: Ohhhh</i></p><p><i>OR</i></p><p><i>Them: Are you pregnant?</i></p><p><i>Me: No I have fibroids</i></p><p><i>Them: Oh is it food too? </i></p><p><i>Me: Yeah and I 've gained weight</i></p><p><i>Them: Oh okay</i></p><p><i>OR </i></p><p><i>Them: Are you pregnant?</i></p><p><i>Me: No I have fibroids and it would be very hard to get pregnant b/c I have fertility issues</i></p><p><i>Them: 😶</i></p><p>Some of ya'll are too obsessed with women's bodies. Ten years ago, I involuntarily joined the fibroid club along with many other Black women. Black women are <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/womens-health/black-women-and-heavy-periods#Why-do-Black-women-have-fibroids-at-a-higher-rate?" target="_blank">3 times more likely than any group of women to develop fibroids</a>. According to health experts<a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/nbcblk/black-women-start-talk-uterine-fibroids-condition-many-get-speak-rcna20478" target="_blank"> NBC News</a> spoke to, about half of Black women who reach 35 have fibroids. And by the age of 50, 80 percent of Black women have fibroids. And we have higher fibroid growth. I've read that health researchers are unsure why Black women disproportionately suffer from fibroids, but think diet and stress, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3874080/" target="_blank">history of abuse</a> are a factor. Black women deal with so much-- classism, racism, sexism, misogyny, homophobia, abuse at jobs, racism in the health industry, etc. on levels other women do not. I think that stress goes to our wombs. </p><p>I have small fibroids, but I have so many that they have expanded my uterus to point where it looks like I'm in my first trimester of pregnancy. I started having problems with fibroids after being a part-time caretaker to my grandfather battling cancer and working a full-time job. That stress, and likely stress from other years led to fibroids. I'm sure genetics played a roll too. Other women in my family have fibroids. Ironically, I know I'll never be pregnant because of health and personal issues, yet I look like I'm carrying and I'm asked if I'm pregnant. Which is why if don't ask me, any other woman or person if we're pregnant. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzz4wu7_-q7d0mu-f9nidYwx6YVi_UCc9QsS6TGWgGLtaJRibjoB-Nuv5ng4pPkPKMG8_35jAB904Q298LFV6Tt3pYwAdjZBB2QcW-t1s2Ro-yw2HNY3Fa_XO4wZgBGz0YghTpplPQXy9STnIAE7QZPZJQsv4HjganM7AWqcSfTT4xRMQ08gtuPnLj/s757/Uterine_fibroids.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="a photo of large, pinkish-reddish tumors or uterine fibroids" border="0" data-original-height="570" data-original-width="757" height="151" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzz4wu7_-q7d0mu-f9nidYwx6YVi_UCc9QsS6TGWgGLtaJRibjoB-Nuv5ng4pPkPKMG8_35jAB904Q298LFV6Tt3pYwAdjZBB2QcW-t1s2Ro-yw2HNY3Fa_XO4wZgBGz0YghTpplPQXy9STnIAE7QZPZJQsv4HjganM7AWqcSfTT4xRMQ08gtuPnLj/w200-h151/Uterine_fibroids.jpg" title="uterine fibroids photo" width="200" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Uterine fibroids<br />photo credit: <a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Uterine_fibroids.jpg">Hic et nunc, CC BY-SA 3.</a>0</td></tr></tbody></table><p> I ran into someone I know on Mother's Day. They asked me if I was pregnant. I know they meant no harm in asking, but it triggered my own fertility and health issues on a day that I'm reminded I will likely never birth a child. </p><p>Aside from pregnancy, here are few reasons why a woman's belly may be shaped like she's carrying: </p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Weight gain</li><li>Post-birth weight gain</li><li>Miscarriage</li><li><a href="https://herviewfromhome.com/living-please-stop-asking-if-im-pregnant/" target="_blank">Endometriosis</a></li><li>Fibroids </li></ul><div>When you ask women if they're pregnant, you may be triggering her body, infertility or other health issues. Also a woman may be pregnant, but be uncomfortable talking about it because of circumstances that are causing her to wrestle with being pregnant. Maybe she's pregnant by someone she wouldn't want to raise a child with. Or maybe she is pregnant and wants to wait to officially announce it. Who knows. </div><div><br /></div><div>Fibroids caused me to look pregnant before I gained weight. I used to have a flat stomach. I don't know if I'll ever have it again and I accept that. I'm just glad that the Chinese medicine and acupuncture I use to treat my fibroids has helped me tremendously. I visit with my OBGYN regularly to check them, so I'm taking care of myself. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Next time someone asks me if I'm pregnant, I'm going to tell them that's a personal question and it's none of their concern. I'm not explaining my health issues to people anymore unless they're part of my health team or my mama. By the way, the person who asked me if I was pregnant on Mother's Day apologized. I appreciate their sincerity. </div><div><br /></div><div>Bottom line, unless you're witnessing a baby's head emerging from between a woman's legs, don't ask her if she's pregnant. Mind your own business and focus on your body. </div><p></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-48318774749315388992020-07-19T21:02:00.002-07:002020-07-19T21:13:25.797-07:00Let Her Tell It: Black Women Healing Through Writing Resource List Updated! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRHboxfZVsiuRFI25l7tPclsV4H-w-C8qbZfkrBodxmoFjLq9EUGzwlBGrTYmlbEPZZl9Pyf_F46cvX58t8PggB2aHLgk-hyfZKs0DQEoL1MIaYysj-BE5Tqedt7vi59nQi16SCvJ127Q/s1600/Screen+Shot+2020-07-19+at+8.06.06+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="489" data-original-width="633" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRHboxfZVsiuRFI25l7tPclsV4H-w-C8qbZfkrBodxmoFjLq9EUGzwlBGrTYmlbEPZZl9Pyf_F46cvX58t8PggB2aHLgk-hyfZKs0DQEoL1MIaYysj-BE5Tqedt7vi59nQi16SCvJ127Q/s400/Screen+Shot+2020-07-19+at+8.06.06+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Thank you everyone who logged on for our virtual reading today! As promised here's an updated version of the resource list. And If you missed our reading or want to rewatch it, visit the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5n8JC2yXo4">San Francisco Public Library's Youtube Channel</a>. A big thank you to the library for inviting us to perform. Adrienne, Kira, Kelechi and Natalie are wonderful, smart, beautiful, strong, willing to be vulnerable, kind women. I thank them for being part of this reading.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBlYgXc7RTLdQaPyLXqugItGvSHn5md8ZFOnRCaIagbTz4xGhcAa8YlpApXrycmvyOGV7QK_u6L48-Gw6eN-p9ijhVnIteGNr8S3m_1mYWP0rtKEKhs9m1F08G8yDNQ1nAp1af23YUMjk/s1600/IMG_3677.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBlYgXc7RTLdQaPyLXqugItGvSHn5md8ZFOnRCaIagbTz4xGhcAa8YlpApXrycmvyOGV7QK_u6L48-Gw6eN-p9ijhVnIteGNr8S3m_1mYWP0rtKEKhs9m1F08G8yDNQ1nAp1af23YUMjk/s200/IMG_3677.JPG" width="150" /></a><br />
For those asking about my Minding My Mental Health t-shirt, you can order that from <a href="https://www.scarredtees.com/?fbclid=IwAR2mLxUzZkOZSwpoMMvkck5tPyXPHCqKfWKySh08EI6S-1q38qlpkH1tTTo">RN Brand & Design</a>. The vendor, Rhachelle Nicol is also a mental health advocate and the shirt comes in a few colors.<br />
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Please take care of yourselves and each other. Call friends and family so you're not isolated and they're not isolated. And do not be ashamed if you're dealing with anxiety, depression, etc. You are human and times are tough! Create a support network with friends and loved ones to check on each other. Check on your elders. And please wear your mask! I know about 7 people with COVID-19. Wear your masks!<br />
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Resources are below and thanks again!<br />
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 18pt;">Let Her Tell It!</span></i></b><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 18pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 18pt;">Black Women Healing Through Writing Resources</span></i></b><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 18pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 14pt;">Books</span></u><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "ms ゴシック"; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: -3.75pt;"> </span></span><span style="color: #212121; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Write This Second: A Poetic Memoir by <a href="https://writethissec.com/">Kira Allen</a></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 12pt;">v<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Pleasure Activism by Adrienne Marie Brown<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Not Alone: Reflections on Faith and Depression by Monica Coleman<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Bipolar Faith by Monica Coleman<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Willow Weep for Me: A Black Woman’s Journey Through Depression<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">by Meri Nana-Ama Danquah<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">When a Purple Rose Blooms by <a href="http://www.cocoafly.com/">Jenee Darden</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome by Dr. Joy DeGruy<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Writing as a Way of Healing: How Telling Our Stories Transforms Our Lives<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">by Louise DeSalvo<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Black Girl, White Skin: A Life in Stories by <a href="http://holman.lighthouse-sf.org/2019/natalie-devora/">Natalie Devora</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Sisters of the Yam by bell hooks<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Welcome to my Breakdown by Benilde Little<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">The Mother of Black Hollywood by Jenifer Lewis<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">In the Spirit or Lessons in Living both books by Susan L. Taylor<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">We’ve Been Too Patient: Voices from Radical Mental Health Stories<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">editors L.D. Green and Kelechi Ubozoh<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">A Fierce Heart: Finding Strength, Courage and Wisdom in Any Moment<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">by Spring Washam<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Black Pain: It Just Looks Like We’re Not Hurting by Terrie Williams<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Undoing Crazy by Colette Winlock<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Wellness Recovery Action Plan or WRAP<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 14pt;">Websites and Podcasts</span></u><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">CocoaFly.com<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">EachMindMatters.org<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">MentalHeathandWellnessRadio.libsyn.com or listen on iTunes (podcast hosted by Jeneé<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Darden)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.55pt;"> </span></span><span style="color: #1154cc; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt; letter-spacing: 0.55pt;"><a href="https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/February-2018/Writing-Tips-that-Can-Reduce-Symptoms"><span style="color: #1154cc; letter-spacing: 0pt;">NAMI Writing Tips That Can Reduce Symptoms</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">NoMoreMartyrs.org<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">RedefineEnough.com/AffirmPodcast (podcast and web)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">SAMHSA.org Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Admin<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">SilenceTheShame.com<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">SuicidePreventionLifeline.org<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">TherapyForBlackGirls.com (web and podcast)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/808soul.sistas/)">The 808: Virtual Healing Writing Circle for Black Women</a>, led by <a href="https://www.moadsf.org/blog/adrienne-danyelle-oliver-poets-corner/">Adrienne Oliver</a></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 14pt;">Therapy and Wellness Sources</span></u><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt; position: relative; top: 0.5pt;"> ❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt; letter-spacing: 0.4pt; position: relative; top: 0.5pt;"><a href="https://scce.usu.edu/services/act-guide/">Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)</a> low cost, self-help program at Utah State</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt; position: relative; top: 0.5pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt; position: relative; top: 0.5pt;">Conscious Voices: African American Well-Being Center, Oakland, 510-500-3412</span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Health and Human Resource Education Center, hhrec.org, Oakland </span><span style="color: #212121; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">(510) 834 - 5990</span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #212121; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">(Ask about their affordable Be Still Retreat for Black women)</span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.85pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">OneLifeInstitute.org, Oakland, </span><span style="color: #1c2029; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">510-595-5598 (They host local and affordable retreats)</span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c2029; font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="color: #1c2029; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">PEERS Oakland, </span><span style="color: #1154cc; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="http://www.peersnet.org/"><span style="color: #1154cc;">www.peersnet.org</span><span style="color: #1154cc; text-decoration-line: none;"> </span></a></span><span style="color: #1c2029; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">510-832-7337</span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.85pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Rafiki Coalition for Health and Wellness, San Francisco, </span><span style="color: #1c2029; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">415-615-9945</span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Sankofa Holistic Counseling Services, Oakland 510-433-0244<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">TherapyForBlackGirls.com has a national therapist directory<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 14pt;">Articles<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 14pt;">v<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="https://www.kalw.org/post/bay-view-black-woman-s-journey-through-depression#stream/0" style="color: purple;">A Black Woman’s Journey Through Depression by Jenee Darden</a></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 14pt;">v<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="https://kelechiubozoh.com/2020/06/04/reimagining-self-care/" style="color: purple;">Reimagining Self-Care for Black Folks by Kelechi Ubozoh</a></span><u><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">I Am Light by India.Arie<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Gina Breedlove albums and look into her sound healing therapy when she’s in the Bay<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 12pt;">v<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">DJ D-Nice on Instagram (if you need to dance and listen to music that makes you feel good)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Meditations for Healing and Renewal by Destiny Muhammad and Rev. Liza Rankow<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif; font-size: 12pt;">❖<span style="letter-spacing: 0.4pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Jamila Woods: Blk Girl Soldier & Holy (Both songs are awesome! Listen to </span><span style="color: #1154cc; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="https://youtu.be/NbpRu-yzNfs"><span style="color: #1154cc;">NPR Tiny</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1154cc; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="https://youtu.be/NbpRu-yzNfs"><span style="color: #1154cc;">Desk</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">, featuring "Giovanni" performance for extra flavor)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 12pt;">v<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8LpGztbBBCRZGy6iNHO_BA"> </a></span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8LpGztbBBCRZGy6iNHO_BA">Iyanla Vanzant Daily Antiviral Message on Youtube</a> -- calming if you're anxious about the pandemic<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "ms ゴシック"; font-size: 12pt;">❖ </span><span style="color: #1154cc; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiZ9GYdsoiM"><span style="color: #1154cc;">Anxiety is my Frenemy</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">-- Jenee’s Creative Morning<span style="letter-spacing: 2.65pt;"> </span>talk on living with anxiety and<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">depression<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "ms ゴシック"; font-size: 12pt;">❖ </span><span style="color: #1154cc; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyMt2blPp0I"><span style="color: #1154cc;">Bridging the Gap</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">: Ending Mental Health Stigma in Primary Care<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "ms ゴシック"; font-size: 12pt;">❖ </span><span style="color: #1154cc; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="https://theswordmovie.com/"><span style="color: #1154cc;">The S-Word</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">-- documentary on suicide-attempt survivors<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "ms ゴシック"; font-size: 12pt;">❖ </span><span style="color: #1154cc; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2jLzMiv9T4"><span style="color: #1154cc;">Shine</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">-- documentary on East Bay Youth finding hope after surviving trauma<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "ms ゴシック"; font-size: 12pt;">❖ </span><span style="color: #1154cc; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcqtFlLNSa4&t=2s"><span style="color: #1154cc;">Snapping the Chain</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">: Ending Mental Health Stigma in the Black community<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-77545936806566804172019-10-14T19:30:00.000-07:002019-10-14T22:29:19.720-07:00 Let Her Tell It! Black Women Healing Through Writing <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg-_qUdPNpN5LMHBVEEoodNeV_95j-eWb_btaBEIrE11Wr8iVqtLHXK5W_pmXQBuBNzq8rcc4Xj-WXF1GaUhdPKQUquPZIYwZr6J5s-h7XLXIFaj2PZOxMKtH3dFxWQ6MuITYQJGDVBrk/s1600/69981098_2654403667923963_5208363963477131264_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg-_qUdPNpN5LMHBVEEoodNeV_95j-eWb_btaBEIrE11Wr8iVqtLHXK5W_pmXQBuBNzq8rcc4Xj-WXF1GaUhdPKQUquPZIYwZr6J5s-h7XLXIFaj2PZOxMKtH3dFxWQ6MuITYQJGDVBrk/s400/69981098_2654403667923963_5208363963477131264_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Top: Adrienne Oliver, Jenee Darden, Kira Allen,<br />
Bottom: Natalie Devora, Kelechi Ubozoh</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br />
Thank you so much for attending our Litquake event! Congrats again to Litquake on the 20th anniversary of their literary festival. Please <a href="http://litquake.org/">visit their website</a> and attend other events they're holding.<br />
<br />
And if you want to attend any of my future readings, make sure to sign up for my <a href="https://us4.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=0090243d708b3339d283262c0&id=28016c4559">newsletter.</a> I only send it out once a month.<br />
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As promised, <a href="https://www.dropbox.com/s/cbssqqj8cqbtjyt/let%20her%20tell%20it%20mental%20health%20resource%20list%20.pdf?dl=0">here is a resource list</a>.
I hope our words touched you and inspired you to turn to your own words for healing.
Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-35736492421091214642019-04-25T22:09:00.000-07:002019-04-25T22:09:21.816-07:00I'm Coming to Barnes & Noble! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY587rVcxWaKD6kefDMENTqiPxfzz-YJ91Om9ojS-a_v9bJtlv431ajWKnt8SbB02Lyd9PGmfRExQldIpgDPjC3kj0u-ZutVEhzVxThPsrrIN90F6C263iYfBzLhu6tXMhJwzUKs8tuo0/s1600/58542995_10157115814058685_683767134349688832_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1263" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY587rVcxWaKD6kefDMENTqiPxfzz-YJ91Om9ojS-a_v9bJtlv431ajWKnt8SbB02Lyd9PGmfRExQldIpgDPjC3kj0u-ZutVEhzVxThPsrrIN90F6C263iYfBzLhu6tXMhJwzUKs8tuo0/s400/58542995_10157115814058685_683767134349688832_o.jpg" width="315" /></a></div>
I can't wait until next Friday because that's the day of my reading and discussion at the Barnes & Noble store in El Cerrito, CA. I'll be reading pieces from my book <a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/when-a-purple-rose-blooms-jenee-darden/1129729580?ean=9781732786608">When a Purple Rose Blooms</a>.<br />
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<b><i>The discussion will cover my experiences as a Black woman with love, sex and mental health.</i> </b><br />
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/868828576797960/">That's Friday, May 3rd, 7pm at the Barnes & Noble in El Cerrito Plaza.</a> It's a short walk from BART. Join me. Bring a Friend. Tell a friend. If you can't make it, and still haven't bought a copy of my book, you can order it from <a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/when-a-purple-rose-blooms-jenee-darden/1129729580?ean=9781732786608">Barnes & Noble's</a> website.<br />
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See ya there!Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-53764854014301147532019-03-11T15:34:00.001-07:002019-03-11T15:41:01.039-07:00Starting Your Dreams Later In Life and Embracing the Detour<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jenee Darden speaking at Creative Mornings<br />
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I know it's been a while since I've posted anything but that's because of my job. I'm working as a reporter covering Oakland and I host an arts segment on the radio where I get to interview amazing artists from around the Bay Area. Plus I'm publicizing <a href="https://www.nomadicpress.org/store/whenapurpleroseblooms">my book</a> and building my speaking career! </div>
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You know what's funny? I thought this would all happen by the time I was 27-30. Nope. That wasn't God's plan for me. I'm finally beginning to do the things I've wanted to do and I'm almost 40 years old. Some people reading this who are 40 will say 40 is still young. But some younger people reading may think 40 is nearly ancient. But I'm writing this post for those who like me, thought their career and personal dreams would come true much early in life. I'm here to tell you not to give up. </div>
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You know, death inspires life. A number of my relatives and friends have passed away, ranging in age from 20's to 80's. Actor Luke Perry, my middle-school celebrity crush, recently died at 52. Life is short. If there's something you've been wanting to do...DO IT! Don't trip off of your age---go for it. Our society is so ageist. Internalizing that ageism hinders some of us from pursuing our dreams because we're expected to achieve by the end of our 20's. That's not a reality for a lot of people, especially in this economy. And you know what? That's okay if you have to get started on your dreams in your 40's, 50's, 60's, etc. It's your life. It's your path. Do you. </div>
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I want you to meet a few people: </div>
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<b><u>Destiny Muhammad</u></b></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Destiny Muhammad</td></tr>
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<a href="https://www.destinymuhammadproject.com/"><br />Destiny Muhammad</a> dreamed of being a harpist from the time she was a kid in Compton. It wasn't until her 30's when she decided to leave the barber biz and take a leap of faith. She moved to the Bay Area and learned to play the harp. Now she plays on stages all over the Bay Area and is a beloved artist. <a href="https://www.kalw.org/post/harpist-hood-follows-path-musical-destiny#stream/0">Listen to my interview with Destiny</a> about her journey to the harp. Trust me. If you're looking for some inspiration, listen. </div>
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<b><u>Fantastic Negrito</u></b></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jenee Darden/Cocoa Fly and Fantastic Negrito</td></tr>
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<a href="https://fantasticnegrito.com/">Fantastic Negrito</a> is one of my favorite artists. He got in the music game back in the 1990s. Then he almost died in a car crash and later his label dropped him. He gave up on music, but came back over 20 years later. Guess what? I attended his second Grammy party the other night. That's right! The brotha has TWO Grammys. He joked at the party that he's a middle-aged man who dresses funny, but he has the freedom to be the artist he wants to be. His detour to his dream is part of why he's such a great artist today. Read my throwback <a href="https://www.ebony.com/entertainment/black-music-fantastic-negrito/">Ebony</a> interview with him<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oakland model Helen Peppers </td></tr>
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<b><u>Helen Peppers</u></b><br />
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I first met Mrs. Peppers at the hair salon while getting my hair pressed. She was 77 years old and I was just getting my start in journalism. My hair stylist told me I should interview Mrs. Peppers. I did. Mrs. Peppers was a model. I saw her at local fashion shows helping to raise money for different causes. Honey, the woman could dress. She stopped the show, stole the show, snatched our edges, and stayed etched in our memories. I can't remember how old Mrs. Peppers was when she started modeling, but I know she started hitting the runways long after she raised her seven children. When I interviewed her for the <a href="https://www.npr.org/sections/newsandviews/2007/05/out_on_the_street_crowned.html">NPR website</a>, she told me her secret to beauty. "Beauty is touching someone else's life," she said. Mrs. Peppers passed away in January. She was 91. I'm going to miss her, but I'm so happy that she got to live her life to the fullest. I'm sure she strutted into Heaven with style.<br />
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<b>Don't Just Dream, Do</b><br />
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I don't know what your dream is. Travel? Write a novel? Play a sport? Art? Cooking school? Bodybuilding? Farming? Whatever it is, go for it. Sometimes life takes us on paths that we think detour us away from our dreams. But they actually prepare us for our dreams. It took me a long time to learn that. The hardships and losses I've dealt with over the last nine years made me a better journalist and writer. Sometimes our dreams come true, and they may not look like how we envisioned. Cocoa Fly put my voice out there in a way I didn't imagine. I don't have the high number of views like other bloggers, but Cocoa Fly has taken me to greater heights.<br />
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You may have to take different steps to your dream. Maybe you want to be a published writer, and should try to get an article published before a book. Maybe you want to travel more, and can't afford a plane ride. Go by bus or the train instead. Maybe you want to model in Paris, but need to start modeling in your hometown first. Whatever is in your heart, I hope you answer it. We all have a passion, a purpose. I would hate for you to leave this planet without tending to that passion. Whether you start at 19 or 90, live your best life.<br />
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Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-78026353180408776862018-10-18T16:28:00.000-07:002018-10-18T16:28:05.149-07:00Cocoa Fly is Getting LIT at SF Litcrawl 2018<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">
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<br /><br />Last year we shook things up. This Saturday we're going to be LIT and bring the fire. And good news... we're in a larger venue!<br /><br />Cocoa Fly presents <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/239382340062584/">Let Her Tell It!</a>, a real and raw literary hour with Black women writers at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/litquake/">Litquake</a>'s Lit Crawl in San Francisco.<div>
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Saturday, Oct 20th, 5pm</div>
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2169 Mission St.</div>
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San Francisco<br /><br />Maya Angelou once said, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you.” In a world where Black women’s voices are often silenced or ignored, we are women who are releasing that burden and telling our stories. <br /><br /><i>Let Her Tell It!</i> is an intersectional reading with a diverse group of Black women writers. We have tasted the sweet and the sour. We’re girls from the hood and Black women of the ‘burbs. We’ve loved men and women. We are dark, fair and somewhere in between. We’ve been through the fire, but emerged as phoenixes. Through our favorite literary genres, the writers of Let Her Tell It! are excited to share our experiences and outlook of the world as Black women. There’s so much to being a Black woman, especially in today’s society. And we are not only ready to tell it, but we hope our stories encourage others with a story buried inside.<br /><br />Featuring writers: <a href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2FCocoaFly.com%2F&h=AT2Lj6n9IE1eJSoTRnqNebfSQ0jdtmQkM4M_2x-Z6gy9XucwXvJkwjzd79UGinNSldw_uXE-4mcPOROejt9vCS54ElAOozGucy8qiEjnq4e8lIN83AikGgVmQpr4XavYGV13aIo">CocoaFly.com</a> founder Jenee Darden, Natalie Devora, Lyndsey Ellis, Kelechi Ubozoh and Yodassa Williams. <br /><br />For more info visit <a href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.litquake.org%2F&h=AT20gThCBayxseAvfDGSxG6e3Ap4AYGalc7oeviWTPQUMzR4X-A1cUoq0l6XdxtQCvKhSqM1HCci6GLxVOZmV0cBgzDAeerT3aaWaNqGyHjJm2OSq85zK8COtvDoU43N7BvUAAw">www.litquake.org</a> or email me jenee@cocoafly.com<br /></div>
Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-9614923292260035232018-09-29T00:23:00.003-07:002018-09-30T22:44:56.630-07:00A Dream Come True: I'm an Author!! <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Signing my first book, <a href="https://www.nomadicpress.org/store/whenapurpleroseblooms">When a Purple Rose Blooms</a> for readers!<br />
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<b><b><i><span style="color: purple;">Thank you to everyone who attended my book launch and/or purchased a book! I deeply, deeply appreciate your support. For anyone who wants to order a book, visit <a href="https://www.nomadicpress.org/store/whenapurpleroseblooms">NomadicPress.org</a>. </span></i></b></b></div>
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Saturday, Sept. 22, 2018 will forever be etched in my heart, because it was the day of my first book launch.<br />
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Four years ago, I met author Walter Mosley at a reading he gave in the Bay Area. I had been pushed out of my job, but I still had a lifelong dream of writing a book. When I told him I got the boot from my job he said, "Congratulations. Now go write your book." I had no intention of publishing a collection of poetry and essays. For years I've been working on getting a nonfiction book about Black erotic literature published. That's been my 20-year dream and book I told Mr. Moseley about. In those 20 years of working on erotica, I've written poems and essays about love, sex, race, mental health and embracing my femininity. All of these issues I've written through the lens of living in America as a Black woman. I never thought of putting all those pieces into a book, but <a href="https://www.nomadicpress.org/store/whenapurpleroseblooms"><i>When a Purple Rose Blooms</i></a> really wanted to be here. And here she is: </div>
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Photographer Rev. Harry Williams </td></tr>
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<b>Why the title <i>When a Purple Rose Blooms</i>? </b></div>
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The title <i>When a Purple Rose Blooms </i>is a work about my own personal growth. It's a celebration of my femininity and strength. It's Black womanhood from the petals to the thorns. Aretha Franklin's song <i>A Rose is Still a Rose</i> has been one of my anthems since it came out back in 1998. The Queen of Soul passing away weeks before my book came out made me do some spiritual reflection. There's more to this title, especially the color purple (hint, hint, Alice Walker and womanism). But I won't give too much away. I'll let the readers figure out more of the symbolism behind the book. </div>
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<b>The process</b></div>
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There's a shirt by the online faith-inspired vendor Ven and Rose that says "Embrace the detour." This book was a detour that I love wholeheartedly. As I said before, I wanted my first book to be about Black erotica, but I guess that's not what God had planned. Over the years, I wrote poetry and essays. I posted them on this blog or read them out loud at readings around the Bay Area. Back in the day I read at spots when I was a college student in San Diego. Reading publicly changed my life, because it gave me visibility. After I read, people would ask me if I had a book for sale. So I figured my poetry and personal essays were reaching people. </div>
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My process was mainly writing when life happens. Heartbreak, joy, racial violence, romance, good sex, depression, anxiety, overcoming obstacles all drove me to my pen and notebook. Or they drove me to this blog to write. That was my therapy and now it's also my book. </div>
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The most challenging part of this process was re-writing and editing. That took a lot of time. It wasn't easy while trying to work a full time job. I gave up a lot of weekends. In the end, it was worth it. </div>
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<b>What I hope people get out of the book</b></div>
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After putting this book together, I thought about the little girl inside of me. The girl who was bullied for being dark-skinned. The little girl who sometimes internalized her father's absence and questioned her own worth. The little girl who was nerdy, bright, smart, fun, ready to take on a academic challenge. The little girl who loved her family and dreamt of this day in her bubble gum pink bedroom. Over the years, I wrote this for her. And I wrote it for so many Black women and girls who share my experiences of pain, pleasure, depression and resilience. I really wanted the mental health message there. Anyone can learn something from this book. I hope it makes people think and take into account how some Black women experience the world. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Flowers from my friend Kelechi. Card and<br />
balloon from Mom</td></tr>
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<b>That new-author feeling </b></div>
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I've wanted to be an author ever since I could write with a pen. In the book there's a poem called "The Gift." It's about a small binder my mother found at work when I was a little girl, and she turned it into a journal for me. That was when I started writing. I read that poem on stage at the book launch and got choked up. We live in such a materialistic society, and sometimes we forget the little things that make a difference. Those small acts of love can be life changing. </div>
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My mom is so funny. There were no more regular congratulations balloons in the store. She bought me a graduation balloon. LOL I guess in a sense my book launch was like a graduation in my writing career. </div>
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I feel great. I'm excited. I also know I have a lot of work ahead in marketing this book. But, I'm going to enjoy this moment. I work hard and I work a lot. In the past I would achieve a goal and jump to the next goal. These days, I'm spending more time smelling the roses. </div>
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Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-44750816451112770172018-09-22T10:34:00.000-07:002018-09-28T22:52:59.716-07:00My First Book 'When A Purple Rose Blooms' is Available NOW <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I am beyond excited to announce that my FIRST book <b><i><a href="https://www.nomadicpress.org/store/whenapurpleroseblooms">When a Purple Rose Blooms</a></i></b> is available!! You can order copies directly from my publisher Nomadic Press. Order <a href="https://www.nomadicpress.org/store/whenapurpleroseblooms">here</a>. </div>
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The book is a collection of essays and poetry about my experiences with black womanhood. There's lots of humor, pain, and love on every page. This book wrote itself. I had no intention of releasing a book of poetry and essays, but when I saw how much I've written over the last 20 years I thought, "why not?" and went for it. </div>
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The book launch is<a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/191304171447195/"> tonight, 7pm at the Oakland Peace Center</a>. I will be launching my book along with 6 other new writers to Nomadic Press. I'm in great, literary company. </div>
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Thank you to every person who has read this blog over the years, attended my readings, listened to my radio stories or read my articles. Thank you for your support. I hope you enjoy the book! </div>
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<br />Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-24857129876573143382018-06-12T17:56:00.001-07:002018-06-12T17:56:21.955-07:00BLACK to the Future, Past and Present: Exploring Time in Black Literature <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEg7pKuSsEq6EPClOTTADBmqx0HmGinHPRr_skXVQAwciwp6LLhumCDWB7M4aDZ_0w3BpvoBc44i41boqGWihXeauLURxKhu9iZ0iAxc2pnstNSiAyGZfXA3NoMYs6GcAzu7jlOXT-4XU/s1600/Litquake+Event+Banner+%25289%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="295" data-original-width="784" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEg7pKuSsEq6EPClOTTADBmqx0HmGinHPRr_skXVQAwciwp6LLhumCDWB7M4aDZ_0w3BpvoBc44i41boqGWihXeauLURxKhu9iZ0iAxc2pnstNSiAyGZfXA3NoMYs6GcAzu7jlOXT-4XU/s640/Litquake+Event+Banner+%25289%2529.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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I'm so excited about this event!!<br />
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Time has been on my mind lately I've been reading a lot of Octavia Butler and her thoughts on the future. I'm knocking on 40 (OMG!), the same age of Stella in Terry McMillian's novel went to Jamaica and met Winston. I'm also exploring works by James Baldwin, Audre Lorde, Eartha Kitt, Zora Neal Hurston--late writers from the past informing our present. I thought this would be a good idea for a reading!<br />
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I brought in the heavy hitters. Local Black writers from the Bay who use time in powerful ways.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Audrey T. Williams has the gift of Afrofuturism. I think that's important because we're living in an time of such extreme racial hatred that there are people who don't want Black people here in the future. Nor they do want recognize our contributions to the past. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">James Cagney upcoming book is <i>Black Steel Magnolias</i>. James' poetry is beautifully and painfully brilliant. He starts his piece in one place and before you know, you're in a completely different mental space and the present feels different. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Tongo Eisen-Martin's poetry reminds me of watching Spiderman swing from building to building. Tong starts in heaven, then down to the liquor store, swings through a mansion that you discover is really a prison, which is really hell and he connects all of that through how history informs the present, which informs the future, etc. As for me I'm a journalist so I write about what's happening today. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Below are the details. Please come join us. It is free and it will be mind-blowing. </span><br />
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Friday, June 22nd<br />
7pm<br />
<a href="https://www.booksinc.net/Alameda">Books Inc. in Alameda, CA</a><br />
1344 Park St.<br />
Alameda, CA<br />
510-522-2226<br />
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Featuring:<br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">James Cagney, author of <i>Black Steel Magnolias</i></span><br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white;">Jenee Darden, journalist and founder of </span><a href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2FCocoaFly.com%2F&h=ATNo6bwAvVYQHkcdBzYyaAcsoR0lVU47P709lF-ofhEs3jpRKL-3RwkRzWdnNyFWhuCRaL3SojZW2FdD4mxZ0xnw_H_7Vg9h_d834VzI-fz-_ECFCaFLJtU&s=1" style="background-color: white; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">CocoaFly.com</a><br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white;">Tongo Eisen-Martin, author of <i>Heaven is All Goodbyes </i></span><br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white;">Audrey T. Williams, author Of <i>Chutneys and Chitlins: Poems & Stories from a Multi-racial American Girl</i></span></span>Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-35442275678052494022018-03-12T22:07:00.002-07:002018-03-13T12:20:03.510-07:00That O.J. Simpson Confession Show Was Beyond Disturbing <br />
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<a href="https://www.fox.com/watch/6d3d76995eb9398b58efb673aaf110d1/" target="_blank"> <i>O.J. Simpson: The Lost Confession?</i></a> reminded me how although the trial became about race, the actual crime was about misogyny, sexism, entitlement and toxic masculinity.<br />
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This interviewed that aired on FOX Sunday night was taped in 2006. I had only been living in Los Angeles a few years when it was announced this interview would air. I wasn't public about my familial ties to this case. A few people knew my father was prosecutor Chris Darden, but I was still hiding. I was either finishing up graduate school or starting my job at NPR when this was scheduled for television. At the time, I thought airing this was distasteful. And Lord knows, I didn't want this interview to air and rekindle Angelinos' memories of the trial while I was living in LA.<br />
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The show's debut was planned around the time Simpson was to release the book, <i>If I Did It</i>, his personal hypothetical account of the murders. But then the Goldmans ended up releasing the book. <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/books/2007/dec/01/featuresreviews.guardianreview22" target="_blank">The Guardian</a> breaks it down in this 2007 article.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #121212; font-family: "guardian text egyptian web" , "georgia" , serif;"> <i>Last year, ReganBooks, part of HarperCollins and Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation empire, commissioned Simpson to write a ghosted book called If I Did It, describing how "hypothetically" he would have carried out the murders. It was to be marketed as a confession. Interviews with Simpson were to be run on Fox television affiliates to coincide with publication. Outrage followed, led by the Goldman and Brown families. Murdoch abandoned ship under the pressure and let the publisher, Judith Regan, walk the plank; 399,999 copies were pulped, with supposedly one being held in the News Corp safe.</i></span><i> </i><br />
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<i>Then earlier this year, the Goldman family, understandably still hurting and seeking to recover the money Simpson owed them, were given ownership of the copyright of the book by a bankruptcy court judge. Now they have published it with the subtitle "Confession of the Killer" and the word "If" effectively removed from the title by clever artwork on the cover. There are prologues by the Goldman family and Fenjves and an afterword by Dominick Dunne, who specialises in celebrity murders.</i></div>
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<i>The book made it to the New York Times bestsellers list, despite boycott calls from the Brown family, who opposed publication from the start. Most of the proceeds are to go to victims' charities and foundations.</i></div>
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So Judith Regan, who interviewed Simpson, was fired by Harper Collins. I remember the Goldmans on the Oprah show asking people to buy the book. They wanted people to know, what they thought, was the truth.<br />
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<b>Okay now my thoughts on OJ's interview.</b><br />
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First of all, it was difficult and heartbreaking to watch. I had to say a little prayer after because it disturbed my spirit.<br />
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Yes, I think it was a confession. What sane person accused of murder hypothetically explains what happened the night of the murder on national television??!!<br />
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"He may describe it as a hypothetical, but of course it becomes 'I," said my dad who was on the show's panel last night. "'I did this.' 'I felt this.' 'I saw this.' This is no hypothetical. This is reality."<br />
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OJ mentioned this guy named "Charlie." Who is Charlie? I've never heard him. Charlie told him to go to Nicole Brown's house. OJ takes the knife from Charlie when he's in the house, arguing with Nicole and Ron Goldman. Dad thinks Charlie is OJ. I do too. I think OJ needs "Charlie" to protect his own mind and keep him in denial about the murders.<br />
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Then there was mention of the the glove in the interview.<br />
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Judith Regan: You write about removing a glove before taking the knife from Charlie.<br />
OJ Simpson: You know I had no conscious memory of doing that but obviously I must have because they found the glove there. </blockquote>
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"Twenty-five years of nonsense and now he's here to explain to all of the naysayers, <i>that's my glove. I left it</i> ," said my father. "Nobody planted it."<br />
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OJ said after he took the knife from "Charlie" he doesn't remember what happened. He looked around and there was blood everywhere.<br />
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"I don't think any two people can be murdered they way they were, without everybody being covered in blood," OJ recalled.<br />
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Chilling. That disturbed me. He was in such a blind and angry rage, he doesn't remember. Why didn't he ask Charlie what happened? His laughter throughout the interview was disturbing, especially during a period where he's discussing the blood at the crime scene. I saw it as more of a nervous and narcissistic laughter, but it was still hard to watch.<br />
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I also noticed how during his recollection of the murder he doesn't say Ron Goldman's name. He calls him a guy, but doesn't say his name. I wonder if giving him a name is too personal. Or is it easier to call him "the guy" because he went into a jealous rage thinking Ron was sleeping with Nicole.<br />
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The other thing that disturbed me was that he said he curses at Nicole Brown's grave. Nicole Brown's friend Eve Shakti Chen said she recalls the Browns telling her that someone notified them about Simpson yelling and swearing at Nicole's grave. It was so bad, they suggested calling the police. Even in death, he still tries wants to control her.<br />
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It's a sad, sad, story. Nicole Brown was a victim of Intimate Partner Violence. <a href="https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/07/21/538518569/cdc-half-of-all-female-murder-victims-are-killed-by-intimate-partners" target="_blank">More than half of female victims of murder</a> in this country, die in connection to violence by their partners-- who are majority men. And Ron Goldman's life was stolen from him.<br />
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It's sad because you have girls and women like Cyntoia Brown, Bresha Meadows, Marissa Alexander who are serving/have served time for protecting themselves against abusive men. Yet, OJ beat and stalked Nicole, killed 2 people and is free. While I know this case hit a strong cord in regards to racism, I can't help but also call out misogyny, sexism, elitism and our obsession with celebrity. Nicole called the police on OJ multiple times. Listen to the 911 tapes during the interview. Our society doesn't do enough to protect abused women. Unfortunately, that lack of protection cost Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman their lives.<br />
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<br />Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-55795208892507232182018-02-24T01:49:00.000-08:002018-03-15T12:41:04.940-07:00Anxiety is My Frenemy <br />
Here's my speech on anxiety from <a href="https://creativemornings.com/talks/jenee-darden" target="_blank">Creative Mornings</a>!<br />
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<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/FiZ9GYdsoiM?start=1" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe>Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-21047197263960244162018-01-28T13:56:00.000-08:002018-01-28T15:34:20.293-08:00Anxiety Resources from My Creative Mornings Talk <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY2CETa-UGn2mX4zYCn3bJPlHOcsgqn89TpTGLA-TSl5Pqs3XxgQ7zQle-Y5G-koxBQGexKmjXjLNWsHiZvyJnHdZ5uHGpXFW0oHh05PrfCCk34wwh5ZLKCWRlDIficv_RMiEsYGGV-fg/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-01-28+at+2.16.00+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="516" data-original-width="641" height="321" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY2CETa-UGn2mX4zYCn3bJPlHOcsgqn89TpTGLA-TSl5Pqs3XxgQ7zQle-Y5G-koxBQGexKmjXjLNWsHiZvyJnHdZ5uHGpXFW0oHh05PrfCCk34wwh5ZLKCWRlDIficv_RMiEsYGGV-fg/s400/Screen+Shot+2018-01-28+at+2.16.00+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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My <a href="https://creativemornings.com/cities/oak" target="_blank">Creative Mornings--Oakland</a> talk went beyond what I could've imagined! The place was packed and people were standing. I appreciate everyone who attended, organized the event and were sponsors. I don't normally talk about anxiety so I was of course a bit...anxious. But I'm glad it all worked out. If you missed it, a video is coming soon.<br />
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A number of people asked about a slide I used during my presentation. As someone diagnosed with depression and anxiety, sometimes negative thoughts can make me feel really hopeless or stressed out. And so when I'm presented with a situation where negative thoughts come up, I ask myself questions to help me look at things differently.<br />
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I learned this from a daylong meditation retreat I took at the <a href="https://eastbaymeditation.org/" target="_blank">East Bay Meditation Center</a> and group therapy. The meditation leaders Kitsy Schoen and <a href="http://www.mushimikeda.com/" target="_blank">Mushim</a> led a retreat called Getting Back in Charge: Mindfulness and Depression. I think they lead this retreat every year.<br />
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In group therapy we used <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Acceptance-Workbook-Anxiety-Commitment/dp/1572244992" target="_blank">The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety </a> and learned about ACT, which is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.<br />
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Here's a great podcast episode from when I hosted Mental Health & Wellness Radio. There's a lot of information and personal stories here from myself and my guests. You can also listen to the show on <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/mental-health-and-wellness-radio/id539018756?mt=2" target="_blank">iTunes</a>.<br />
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Acceptance-Workbook-Anxiety-Commitment/dp/1572244992" target="_blank"><br /></a>
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Take care of yourself!Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-37625239001612758642018-01-22T00:56:00.002-08:002018-03-22T00:23:08.906-07:00I'm Speaking at Creative Mornings in Oakland! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyy9_Go6OoQihKuZc1E6OD5P7RmjP8h9M9v_jxktiy7BhEn7ZTIhAttggPhcKVBDx_wul2blR3_RaklMBnd41FjioTQhg01anKuHNXq8oFytMtg5tc6vR1NCdtca2reAhpafyGXKSKDlQ/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-01-22+at+12.50.52+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="438" data-original-width="962" height="289" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyy9_Go6OoQihKuZc1E6OD5P7RmjP8h9M9v_jxktiy7BhEn7ZTIhAttggPhcKVBDx_wul2blR3_RaklMBnd41FjioTQhg01anKuHNXq8oFytMtg5tc6vR1NCdtca2reAhpafyGXKSKDlQ/s640/Screen+Shot+2018-01-22+at+12.50.52+AM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: purple; font-size: large;"><b>UPDATE: Watch my speech below!</b></span><br /><br /></div>
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<iframe allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/FiZ9GYdsoiM" width="560"></iframe></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">***<a href="http://www.cocoafly.com/2013/03/real-talk-about-anxiety.html" target="_blank">Listen to my podcast about anxiety</a>***</span></b></div>
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This Friday, Jan 26th I will be speaking about living with anxiety challenges and mental health for <a href="https://creativemornings.com/talks/jenee-darden" target="_blank">Creative Mornings</a>. I HATE anxiety. Hate it. But my love for stopping mental health stigma by sharing my story is stronger. I'll also talk about facing our normal, everyday anxieties.<br />
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Registration opens this Monday at 11am. They go quick so make sure you <a href="https://creativemornings.com/talks/jenee-darden" target="_blank">sign up ASAP</a>.</div>
Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-28334716126878647252018-01-22T00:45:00.002-08:002018-01-22T00:48:34.428-08:00Chef Chad Cherry on Serving the Community and the Obamas <div class="MsoNormal">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Chef Chad Cherry<br />Photo courtesy of Red Bull Amaphiko Academy</td></tr>
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Access to quality food is a serious issue in this
country.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In some communities you can
walk a few blocks to a fast food restaurant, but have to travel miles to reach
a grocery store. </div>
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Chef Chad Cherry is the founder of <a href="http://refreshliveinc.com/" target="_blank">Chef Kulture</a>, a company based in Ft. Lauderdale that
educates the community about healthy eating and is fighting food disparities in
low-income areas. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Cherry was one of the few chosen to be part of the <a href="https://amaphiko.redbull.com/en" target="_blank">Red BullAmaphiko Academy</a>
for social entrepreneurs. <o:p></o:p></div>
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He talks to Cocoa Fly podcast host Jenee Darden about the health scare that changed his diet and how former Pres. Obama hooked him up. <o:p></o:p><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Photo Courtesy of Red Bull Amaphiko Academy</span></i>Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-16132789054014093102017-11-17T21:24:00.001-08:002017-11-17T21:24:09.782-08:00What's Most Disturbing About Al Franken Groping Leann Tweeden <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Al Franken<br />Photo by Matt H. Wade/<a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:AlFrankenGWU.jpg" target="_blank">WikiCommons</a></td></tr>
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Man, it's raining perps. And Sen. Al Franken is another drop in this storm of high-profile sexual violators being exposed for not keeping their damn hands to themselves. In Sen. Franken's case, he allegedly couldn't keep his tongue to himself.<br />
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KABC radio anchor Leeann Tweeden recently came forward about then-<i>Saturday Night Live</i> writer Al Franken sexually harassing her and assaulting while on tour overseas in2006 to entertain U.S. troops. She said he forcefully kissed her during rehearsal for a skit. Read the details <a href="http://www.kabc.com/2017/11/16/leeann-tweeden-on-senator-al-franken/" target="_blank">here</a> if you don't know them already.<br />
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You've probably seen the photo of Franken groping Tweeden's breasts while she's asleep back. He's smiling like it's so cute and funny. It's not. His cockiness disturbed me. He didn't have to document the groping. But he knew nothing would happen to him.<br />
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That speaks to how the punishment for men, especially powerful men like Sen Franken, is light to none when they assault women. It speaks to his male privilege in knowing that he can grab a woman's breasts, in her sleep, without consent and pose for a photo because not a damn will happen to him. Our rape culture that blames women, along with Sen. Franken's wealth, inlfuence and gender privilege has given him a pass.<br />
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Men will continue to feel entitled to women's bodies, because society doesn't harshly punish boys and men who do violate. The first time I recall being groped was by middle school boys. Boys (mis)learn early that a girl's breasts, ass, thigh, etc. are literally up for grab because they have a penis.<br />
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Al Franken was a writer for a legendary TV show and eventually became a U.S. senator. Tweeden didn't say anything years ago because of his power. Like Tweeden said, who's going to believe her? She was a Playboy model. Posing on the cover of Playboy doesn't mean she wants any and every man to touch her. Well, Leeanne Tweeden bravely came forward.<br />
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Good for her.<br />
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Sen. Franklin has issued an apology is willing to cooperate with an investigation.<br />
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I know a lot of women. Women of different races, cultures, sizes, sexualities, religious beliefs, economic classes, etc. I can't think of any who HAVE NOT either been sexually assaulted or sexually harassed. I know a number of men who have been victims too. Terry Crews is brave for sharing his story of a Hollywood agent groping him.<br />
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I hope none of these people's careers suffer. People thinking they can do this kind of stuff needs to stop.<br />
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<br />Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-45058719106456301802017-10-14T16:07:00.004-07:002017-10-14T16:13:56.588-07:00Subscribe to the Cocoa Fly Newsletter <br />
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<i><span style="color: magenta;">Stay in the know on what I'm up to from performances to speaking engagements, news stories and all of that good stuff. Subscribe to my monthly newsletter. Just click <a href="http://cocoafly.us4.list-manage1.com/subscribe?u=0090243d708b3339d283262c0&id=28016c4559" target="_blank">here</a>! </span></i></h3>
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<i><span style="color: magenta;">Don't worry. I won't blow up your inbox. I usually send out one newsletter a month. </span></i></h3>
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Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-16331971328807382552017-10-13T16:11:00.000-07:002017-10-14T16:12:00.272-07:00Cocoa Fly is Shaking Up Things at Litquake with Black Women Writers <h3>
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I hope you can come! I'm so excited to be reading with this group of amazing Black women writers. </h3>
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<br />It's free. Come to San Francisco and here us TELL IT! like it is. </h3>
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Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-22882926811945003092017-08-30T00:44:00.000-07:002017-08-30T00:47:46.464-07:00Handling Her Business: Women Entrepreneurs on Cocoa Fly<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
by Jenee Darden</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kelechi Anyadiegwu, Lisa Lou Who, Toni Carey</td></tr>
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In this social media age, people are starting businesses and making money in unique ways. For this podcast episode of Cocoa Fly, I interview women entrepreneurs who are handling their business.<br />
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<a href="http://www.zuvaa.com/" target="_blank">Zuvaa</a> founder Kelechi Anyadiegwu turned a $500 investment into a $2 million dollar traveling African fashion marketplace. I met <a href="https://www.instagram.com/itslisalouwho/?hl=en" target="_blank">cosplayer Lisa Lou Who</a> at San Francisco Comic Con last year. She's is in the business of bringing our favorite characters to life through costumes. <a href="https://blackgirlsrun.com/" target="_blank">Black Girls Run </a>co-founder Toni Carey talks about how her organization is making a difference. Black Girls Run is partnering with Lexus for the upcoming<a href="https://laceuprunningseries.com/black-girls-run-registration/" target="_blank"> Lexus LaceUp Running Series</a> in Orange County, California.<br />
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Listen to the Cocoa Fly podcast below or on <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cocoa-fly/id373497547" target="_blank">iTunes</a>. </div>
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Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-23569925695161417032017-08-21T01:53:00.002-07:002017-08-21T01:53:57.379-07:00No Eclipse Glasses? Grab a Cereal Box<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt3HIHhK-kYcnmRWSgVn02LWjgKivrzcEnpmMkumsUTNHxa2DtQ2uHFRvp-aDfbPlfir1oNxarnlUWOHDFMwSKAoE6wbz2AZ87Q6XEy0JrY5u0J0-tyJWN2dtcn6ZRGGysJ74rLfqV1eg/s1600/IMG_2055.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt3HIHhK-kYcnmRWSgVn02LWjgKivrzcEnpmMkumsUTNHxa2DtQ2uHFRvp-aDfbPlfir1oNxarnlUWOHDFMwSKAoE6wbz2AZ87Q6XEy0JrY5u0J0-tyJWN2dtcn6ZRGGysJ74rLfqV1eg/s320/IMG_2055.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My cereal box turned pinhole camera</td></tr>
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At first I planned on watching the eclipse on television. Then I got caught up in the hype. By the time I decided to join the eclipse party, all of the viewing glasses were gone from my local library. I went old school and made an eclipse viewer out of a cereal box.<br />
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<a href="http://abc7news.com/weather/diy-with-drew-cant-snag-eclipse-glasses-make-your-own/2328507/">ABC 7 Bay Area Meteorologist Drew Tuma</a> created a fun and helpful DIY video on how to make a pinhole camera from a cereal box. More than likely, you have everything needed in your home: cereal box, tape, scissors, pen, white sheet of paper and foil. This can be a fun and quick project with the kids. Remember DO NOT LOOK INTO THE SUN.<br />
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Have fun!<br />
<iframe width="476" height="267" src="http://abc7news.com/video/embed/?pid=2328565" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-85990294478721320982017-08-11T00:26:00.000-07:002017-08-11T14:31:48.029-07:00Cheers! My Birthday Celebration with the Napa Valley Wine Country Tours <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2C_RcCphZ8BlcAQbjsGrJbt18VRckJPSNLRlqScWA3NfgiSbBAOjkALsPCc7LDJEqC5R70DzEjYKkQI0Lw2yfdIUixRjerOaKBOyWOROq09e4MloT2P4GSp9JymM-f0pcFZOQQsFDNfM/s1600/IMG_2640.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Jenee Darden at the Golden Gate Bridge" border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2C_RcCphZ8BlcAQbjsGrJbt18VRckJPSNLRlqScWA3NfgiSbBAOjkALsPCc7LDJEqC5R70DzEjYKkQI0Lw2yfdIUixRjerOaKBOyWOROq09e4MloT2P4GSp9JymM-f0pcFZOQQsFDNfM/s320/IMG_2640.JPG" title="Jenee Darden at the Golden Gate Bridge" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jenee Darden at the Golden Gate Bridge</td></tr>
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After losing my grandmother a few weeks before my birthday, I really needed to celebrate life. I know she would want me to do that. This year, I decided to ring in a new year of life in wine country. My soror traveled up from So Cal to visit. This would be her first time in Napa. I didn’t want to drive so instead, we bought bus tickets for the <a href="https://www.winecountrylimos.com/sf-group-tours.html" target="_blank">Napa Valley Wine Country Tour</a>s. <br />
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Let me tell you something, going on this bus tour was one of the BEST decisions I made. The <a href="https://www.winecountrylimos.com/sf-group-tours.html" target="_blank">Napa Valley Wine Country Tour</a>s bus isn’t just any bus. It’s a limo bus that looks like a VIP club lounge on wheels. We paid $119 for an 8-hour trip, visit to 4 wineries in Sonoma and Napa counties, continental breakfast and lunch. It was worth every penny. The tastings aren't covered in the bus fare, but they ran about $10-$25. Wineries won't charge you for tastings if you buy a bottle. I recommend this for tourists and any Bay Area locals who have folks visiting from out of town and want a short excursion to Napa.<br />
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My soror and I took BART from Oakland to San Francisco and were picked up in Union Square. Then our cheesy, funny driver Adam took us to the Golden Gate Bridge. We admired the beauty of the bridge hugged by a layer of fog. After a few photos we were back on the bus, sipping mimosas until we stopped at our first winery. </div>
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The <a href="http://www.jacuzziwines.com/" target="_blank">Jacuzzi Family Vineyards</a> (yes like the hot water Jacuzzi) in Sonoma was my favorite. The owner is part of the innovative, hot tub Jacuzzi family. The vineyard is GORGEOUS. They offer wine and olive oil tasting. I left with a bottle of their sparkling wine and another white wine. I could’ve stayed there for a few hours. The winery has an amazing family history and so much to offer. The olive oil tasting was really cool. You dip bits of bread into small samples of olive oil. You can use the oils to make your own salad dressings. </div>
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Next we stopped at the <a href="http://www.larsonfamilywinery.com/" target="_blank">Larsen Family Winery</a> in Sonoma. It’s a smaller, family-owned winery. We were all seated at picnic tables and tasting together at once. It felt like lunchtime at the high school cafeteria. The host of the winery was yelling the history of their winery during the tasting. This went on for at least 30 minutes. He needed a microphone. The winery has a cute dog and the people who worked there are nice. I’m glad we stopped at a smaller winery to support smaller businesses. However, shouting, instead of using a microphone turned me off. </div>
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The <a href="http://www.madonnaestate.com/" target="_blank">Madonna Estate</a> winery in Napa was another favorite. The pourers made us feel so welcome. They made it clear that wine drinking is not for the elite and that we should all enjoy it. They gave us great lessons on wine. Their wine is good, especially their dessert wines. Our group bought a lot of wine from Madonna Estate. And we enjoyed a nice lunch with wine of course, on their grounds.</div>
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The last stop was <a href="http://www.kieuhoangwinery.com/" target="_blank">Kieu Hoang</a>. That winery is very modern and chic. The grounds are beautiful. I’m a lightweight when it comes to drinking, so by the time I got there, I was tapped out. I love Hoang’s outdoor seating areas. Their vineyards and hillsides are beautiful. I spent the remainder of the afternoon under a shaded seating area, with my feet kicked up admiring the beauty of wine country at Kieu Hoang. </div>
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The limo bus is stocked with water and crackers so no one should be getting sick or wasted. I still brought my own snacks because I’m a lightweight and wanted heavier food to absorb the alcohol. Make sure to bring a tote bag or backpack to carry your wine bottles back to your hotel or home. </div>
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This was a nice way to turn 38. Great wine, great company and no driving. I’m doing this tour again next time I have visitors. I better get started on drinking my wine before the next trip. Cheers! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDz-cddN2UwkVCtMfU24CvcBMDzWSNVQSRSaCkfJBUn51yy357ITTFecpbRMw9OkBpeVHb1Wqw-CCvSLbLQr68teAWT0OF29NouDFA11WXlbggM_mN5dUea7NJZg-GSbetK896jkBx2s4/s1600/IMG_2642.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDz-cddN2UwkVCtMfU24CvcBMDzWSNVQSRSaCkfJBUn51yy357ITTFecpbRMw9OkBpeVHb1Wqw-CCvSLbLQr68teAWT0OF29NouDFA11WXlbggM_mN5dUea7NJZg-GSbetK896jkBx2s4/s320/IMG_2642.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">**Napa Valley Wine Country Tours did not pay me for this review. I had such a great time I wanted to write a review.</span></i><br />
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Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-71827549708556894662017-07-13T15:14:00.001-07:002017-07-13T15:14:26.121-07:00Black Women...It's Time to March for US! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhshsX3m95Z_lkVNlXDc6LwBKl9rPNddNzmnYUiq0uYCK9nCR-mYl4KW401dgdwjxChhy49M59R3K0ZbH6Y52VKkpcXZmf0i30ciwcqsTm47Lb6VhVVfbtUP6z8G-rZ_gKFKXh5V1w2yQM/s1600/17880664_220018345149512_1132726120475833412_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhshsX3m95Z_lkVNlXDc6LwBKl9rPNddNzmnYUiq0uYCK9nCR-mYl4KW401dgdwjxChhy49M59R3K0ZbH6Y52VKkpcXZmf0i30ciwcqsTm47Lb6VhVVfbtUP6z8G-rZ_gKFKXh5V1w2yQM/s320/17880664_220018345149512_1132726120475833412_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I've been saying for a long time that BLACK WOMEN NEED A MOVEMENT. We need to march and fight for ourselves the way we do for Black men. Many Black women were turned off by the Women's March in January. Some felt our issues were ignored. And we can't sit around waiting for others to save us. The nonprofit <a href="https://www.bwusac.com/">Black Women United</a> in Sacramento, Calif. decided it's time to put our issues first. On Saturday, July 15th they're taking their voices to the capital of California, along with other major womanist, Black feminist and civil rights leaders. The march is called <i>Ain't I a Woman</i>, in honor of Sojourner Truth's groundbreaking speech. <br /><br />For this episode of the <a href="http://www.cocoafly.com/">Cocoa Fly</a> podcast I talk about the march and Black women's issues with Vocheri Thomas, one of the founders of Black Women United.<br /></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" msallowfullscreen="" oallowfullscreen="" scrolling="no" src="//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/5536609/height/360/width/640/theme/legacy/autonext/no/thumbnail/yes/autoplay/no/preload/no/no_addthis/no/direction/backward/" style="border: none;" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-42690997337366539132017-07-11T17:24:00.000-07:002017-07-10T17:27:46.004-07:00A Phone Call Can Do Wonders for the Soul <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jenee Darden with her late grandmother<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">
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I recently lost my grandmother. Although I knew the day was coming, nothing prepares you for the absence of someone you love deeply. I wrote a poem in memory of my grandmother. I said that I felt my mother's love at first heartbeat, and my grandmother is my "love at first breath" because she was by my mother's side in the delivery room. I lost one of my favorite people in the world. I lost a second mother. <div>
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When my close friends heard the news they reached out. And I'm so grateful. My friends' phone calls came right on time. It meant so much to me that people stopped what they were doing, made time in the day just to give me that verbal support. I go more into detail in the video below. My grandmother was the type of woman who would pick up on the phone and call people if she hadn't talked to them in a while or just to see how they're doing. But think about it. Who haven't you TALKED to in a while? Do you need to catch up with someone who had a loss over six months ago? Have you checked in on your homey or friend recently? Pick up the phone. You never know. Your ear may help them. Or maybe you need someone to give their ear to you. </div>
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<iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fjeneejournalist%2Fvideos%2F10203220112140081%2F&show_text=1&width=560" width="560" height="681" style="border:none;overflow:hidden" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowTransparency="true"></iframe>Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-20907294650599286002017-07-10T16:25:00.003-07:002017-07-10T16:26:14.734-07:00I Don't Want a Man Who Only Texts Me <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyDTK5vJCF90EWOkROYkZu4RTsxylrmJ326iqu5SSOuwv9V_bH80-cyECDeFesGVdpb42vm67haf7a7poMOKQi2V7C9C8ig2golT2iLDUuS-_57aATs9htKKplE9ANl7ocxZ_knUpqnkQ/s1600/Screen+Shot+2017-07-10+at+4.12.08+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="421" data-original-width="489" height="275" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyDTK5vJCF90EWOkROYkZu4RTsxylrmJ326iqu5SSOuwv9V_bH80-cyECDeFesGVdpb42vm67haf7a7poMOKQi2V7C9C8ig2golT2iLDUuS-_57aATs9htKKplE9ANl7ocxZ_knUpqnkQ/s320/Screen+Shot+2017-07-10+at+4.12.08+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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My thoughts are in the short video below: </div>
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BWWkbS6Fr8d/" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">A post shared by cocoafly (@cocoafly)</a> on <time datetime="2017-07-10T04:28:30+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Jul 9, 2017 at 9:28pm PDT</time></div>
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I don't know who created this meme but I'm with them 100%. You can't get to know someone just through messaging. I can't tell you how many times I've given out my phone number to guys, only to discover they just want to text me. The same problem is with online dating. I'll give someone the digits so we can meet up and they'll stop messaging me. All that says to me is that he's playing, hiding something and is not taking getting to know me seriously.<br />
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A man who only texts is a sign of communication problems to come. I dated a guy who told me if possible, he would buy a smartphone for texting only and would disable the phone function. He hated talking on the phone. I learned down the line that he was a terrible communicator, and the relationship didn't work. </div>
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Ladies, if he or she, is only messaging you, they're not serious. If all you want is messaging that's fine. But if you want something more, and they can't pick up the phone or meet you in person, they're not serious. In person and voice contact are priceless. We can't lose that in this digital age. </div>
<br />Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-72474962171905959082017-06-01T20:04:00.000-07:002017-06-07T01:07:28.086-07:00Wonder Woman Is Here! <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVr6neTGASbsOO2XF4LnBK8fDFPfIgifkUG-WybRFOQIpQq1L5jf0jjdXoQO2GY83-MZ_Vufob2Yr5Ci39HipWE5JsehyphenhyphenJ66oBN2OUz6nit1_1n6NmITxdADx8PnZtFVOaYldtdwY3Mb8/s1600/Screen+Shot+2017-06-07+at+1.03.48+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Jenee Darden posing with Wonder Woman poster after watching the movie. " border="0" data-original-height="537" data-original-width="426" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVr6neTGASbsOO2XF4LnBK8fDFPfIgifkUG-WybRFOQIpQq1L5jf0jjdXoQO2GY83-MZ_Vufob2Yr5Ci39HipWE5JsehyphenhyphenJ66oBN2OUz6nit1_1n6NmITxdADx8PnZtFVOaYldtdwY3Mb8/s320/Screen+Shot+2017-06-07+at+1.03.48+AM.png" title="Jenee Darden with Wonder Woman poster" width="253" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jenee Darden is all smiles after watching<br />Wonder Woman.<br /></td></tr>
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Wonder Woman movie is here and it's about time! I'm jealous of those of you who have tickets to midnight screenings. I plan on watching it in the morning. I've been waiting for this movie for 30+ years since I saw Lynda Carter spin around and become this strong, feminine being who will you beat you down if you don't act right. Wonder Woman will give you a chance to act right, but will put the smack down if need be.<br />
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Gal Gadot looks great, just by what I saw in Batman v. Superman. The reviews have been great. This movie is long overdue.Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457712359004161559.post-27428310524536473162017-05-10T16:17:00.000-07:002017-07-06T22:44:29.051-07:00Burger Love and a Side Letter to Sweet Potato NEW PODCAST EPISODE!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOnjtgGzDWe95EWBxQGDtFToKwqSgu36ebJmSF5nc8z9bagY2mGjADwzqXqhr2qnqthn2PDSZD_Kc5nvrtvelhdFKv1kfcOIgi-MV93D4lN08Cyl2QE8gpsv7rn64Y9v4S_6AUh8y0cww/s1600/IMG_20160716_185042.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="961" data-original-width="730" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOnjtgGzDWe95EWBxQGDtFToKwqSgu36ebJmSF5nc8z9bagY2mGjADwzqXqhr2qnqthn2PDSZD_Kc5nvrtvelhdFKv1kfcOIgi-MV93D4lN08Cyl2QE8gpsv7rn64Y9v4S_6AUh8y0cww/s320/IMG_20160716_185042.png" width="243" /></a></div>
A few weeks ago I was a feature performer at a reading for Nomadic Press in Oakland. I made a podcast of just my set. </div>
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I open up about love and online dating. I share a poem I wrote for my father about the O.J. Trial. I have an erotic Prince poem. Listen to my funny short story about my grandmother wanting to date again. </div>
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Check out this episode below or on iTunes. </div>
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Jenee Dardenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17274216901288021997noreply@blogger.com0